Hadi Wijaya
The discourse surrounding the "childfree" lifestyle has reached a fever pitch in Indonesia, sparked primarily by provocative statements from social media influencer and YouTuber Gita Savitri Devi, commonly known as Gitasav. Her assertion that remaining childless is a "natural anti-aging" remedy and that children are a financial and psychological burden has met with significant pushback from various sectors of Indonesian society. Among the most prominent voices offering a counter-narrative is Rr. Sarwi Peni Wulandaru, a professional business coach popularly known as Coach Wulan. At 48 years old, Wulan stands as a living testament to the possibility of balancing a prolific professional life with an exceptionally large family, being a mother to ten children while maintaining an active role in business and national organizations.
Coach Wulan’s perspective offers a stark contrast to the individualistic philosophy often associated with the childfree movement. With her eldest child aged 18 and her youngest just one year old, she navigates a household dynamic that many modern professionals might find overwhelming. However, speaking in Yogyakarta, Wulan emphasized that her decade-spanning journey of motherhood has not served as an anchor to her ambitions but rather as a catalyst for her growth. She continues to lead an active life, participating in the Association of Indonesian Muslim Intellectuals (ICMI), the Indonesian Chamber of Commerce and Industry (Kadin), and the Sharia Economic Society (MES) of the Special Region of Yogyakarta. Remarkably, she manages these responsibilities without the assistance of domestic helpers, a detail that challenges the assumption that large families inherently require an expensive support infrastructure.
The Genesis of the Childfree Controversy in Indonesia
The current national debate was ignited when Gitasav, an Indonesian influencer based in Germany, responded to a comment on her Instagram account praising her youthful appearance. She attributed her looks to not having children, suggesting that the absence of parental stress and the financial freedom to afford Botox were the primary factors. This comment quickly went viral, touching a nerve in a country where family values and the "demographic dividend" are central to the national identity.
Critics argue that Gitasav’s comments oversimplify the complexities of aging and parenthood, while proponents of her view argue for the autonomy of women to choose their own paths. However, for figures like Coach Wulan, the rhetoric that children are a "burden" is not only a personal affront but a fundamental misunderstanding of the human experience and spiritual providence. Wulan argues that the narrative of children as a limitation on a woman’s capacity to develop her knowledge or career is a fallacy that ignores the resilience and multitasking capabilities inherent in motherhood.
Reconciling Professional Ambition with Large Families
One of the primary arguments for the childfree lifestyle is the preservation of career trajectory and personal development. In the modern corporate world, the "motherhood penalty"—a term used by sociologists to describe the systemic disadvantages mothers face in the workplace—is a documented phenomenon. Yet, Coach Wulan posits that the presence of children does not inherently cap a woman’s intellectual or professional ceiling.
"I have ten children, and I am still active in business, organizations, and various activities," Wulan stated. Her experience suggests that the skills required to manage a household of ten—logistics, conflict resolution, financial planning, and emotional intelligence—are directly transferable to the business world. By reframing motherhood as a leadership training ground rather than a career dead-end, Wulan provides a blueprint for "mompreneurs" who refuse to choose between their biological and professional aspirations.
Furthermore, Wulan addresses the financial anxiety that often drives the decision to remain childfree. In an era of rising inflation and the high cost of education, many millennials view children as a financial liability. Wulan counters this with a theological perspective rooted in her Islamic faith, asserting that every soul brought into the world is accompanied by its own "rezeki" or divine provision. This belief, encapsulated in the traditional Indonesian proverb “banyak anak, banyak rejeki” (many children, much fortune), serves as a psychological and spiritual buffer against the economic fears prevalent in secular discourse.
Theological and Cultural Foundations of Motherhood
The debate over childfree living in Indonesia cannot be separated from the country’s deep religious and cultural roots. As a prominent member of ICMI and the Sharia Economic Society, Coach Wulan draws heavily on Islamic teachings to elevate the status of mothers. She references the well-known Hadith of the Prophet Muhammad, which instructs followers to honor their mothers three times more than their fathers.
"Why is ‘your mother’ mentioned three times? Because the Prophet truly understood that motherhood is a journey of immense struggle," Wulan explained. She detailed the physical and mental toll of pregnancy, the life-threatening nature of childbirth—which in Islamic tradition is equated to jihad (a noble struggle)—and the long-term commitment of breastfeeding. By highlighting these hardships, Wulan argues that the nobility of the role is derived from the very "burden" that influencers like Gitasav seek to avoid. From this perspective, the "burden" is not a negative weight but a sanctified sacrifice that grants women a unique spiritual and social status.
Wulan’s critique extends to the influence of Western-centric feminism on Indonesian youth. She warns that the "childfree" campaign, often framed as a feminist victory for bodily autonomy, may inadvertently strip women of the profound societal respect traditionally accorded to mothers in Eastern cultures. She urges the millennial and Gen Z generations to be more discerning in the influencers they follow, suggesting that values should be anchored in long-standing religious and familial traditions rather than the transient trends of social media.
Analyzing the Demographic and Sociological Impact
Beyond the personal and spiritual arguments, the childfree trend has broader implications for Indonesia’s future. According to data from the World Bank, Indonesia’s Total Fertility Rate (TFR) has seen a steady decline over the last several decades, dropping from 5.6 in 1970 to approximately 2.2 in 2022. While this decline is often viewed as a sign of successful family planning and economic development, a sudden shift toward a childfree culture could lead to the "aging population" crisis currently faced by nations like Japan, South Korea, and several European countries.
Indonesia is currently banking on its "demographic dividend"—a period where the working-age population is larger than the non-working-age population—to propel it into the ranks of the world’s top five economies by 2045. A widespread adoption of childfree lifestyles could shrink the future workforce, placing an immense burden on the healthcare and social security systems as the current generation ages.
Coach Wulan’s advocacy for large families, while perhaps extreme to some, serves as a cultural counterweight that promotes population sustainability. Her emphasis on the "coolness of the heart" (penyejuk hati) provided by children suggests that the benefits of parenting are not just societal or economic, but deeply emotional. She posits that the prayers of many children provide a form of "social security" for parents in their old age that no financial portfolio can replicate.
Critical Thinking in the Age of Social Media
A significant portion of Coach Wulan’s message is directed toward the consumption of digital content. She expresses concern that younger generations are accepting the views of influencers "raw" or without critical filtration. In her view, the perception of what is "good" or "bad" is increasingly being dictated by media algorithms rather than the Quran, Hadith, or family values.
"If young people begin to direct their obsession toward the afterlife and their value toward obedience to God, then the path will be clear," Wulan remarked. She advocates for a return to family-centric education where parents play an active role in neutralizing external influences that deviate from traditional religious teachings. This "filter" is essential, she argues, to ensure that the pursuit of worldly comfort—such as "anti-aging" or financial ease—does not come at the expense of spiritual fulfillment and the continuity of the lineage.
Conclusion: Redefining Women’s Value
The rebuttal provided by Coach Wulan to the childfree narrative is not merely a defense of traditionalism but a call for women to expand their self-perception. Her life demonstrates that the roles of "mother," "wife," and "professional" are not mutually exclusive but can be harmoniously integrated. By refusing to see children as a hindrance to her value, she challenges both the conservative view that women should only be in the home and the modern view that children are an obstacle to success.
As the debate continues to unfold in the digital sphere, voices like Coach Wulan’s provide a necessary balance. They remind the public that while the choice to have children is personal, it is also a decision that ripples through the economy, the culture, and the spiritual fabric of the nation. For Wulan, the secret to a fulfilling life is not the absence of responsibility, but the embrace of it—finding joy, provision, and "anti-aging" of the soul through the very children that others might label a burden.
