Hadi Wijaya
The discourse surrounding the childfree lifestyle has once again taken center stage in the Indonesian public sphere following controversial statements made by social media influencer and YouTuber Gita Savitri Devi, commonly known as Gitasav. The influencer’s assertion that children are a "burden" and that remaining childless is a natural "anti-aging" secret has sparked a wave of rebuttals from various sectors of society. Among the most prominent voices challenging this perspective is Rr. Sarwi Peni Wulandaru, a professional business coach popularly known as Coach Wulan. At 48 years old, Coach Wulan presents a lifestyle that directly contradicts the narrative that large families inhibit professional growth or personal well-being. As a mother of ten children, ranging in age from one to 18 years, she maintains a high-profile career and active involvement in various national organizations, providing a lived counter-argument to the childfree movement.
Speaking in Yogyakarta on Saturday, February 11, 2023, Coach Wulan addressed the growing trend of childfree advocacy among the younger generation. Her perspective is rooted not only in her personal experience as a prolific parent but also in her professional capacity as a business mentor and her spiritual convictions. Coach Wulan emphasized that having a large family has not hindered her ability to develop her intellectual capacity or her career trajectory. On the contrary, she manages a bustling household without the assistance of domestic workers, all while remaining active in the business world and several influential organizations, including the Association of Indonesian Muslim Intellectuals (ICMI), the Indonesian Chamber of Commerce and Industry (Kadin), and the Sharia Economic Society (MES) of the Special Region of Yogyakarta.
The Context of the Childfree Controversy in Indonesia
The debate intensified when Gita Savitri Devi responded to a comment on Instagram regarding her youthful appearance, attributing it to the absence of children. She argued that not having children allows for better sleep, less stress, and more financial resources to afford cosmetic procedures. This comment quickly went viral, igniting a polarized debate in a country where traditional family values and religious teachings generally favor procreation. Critics argue that such a stance oversimplifies the complexities of aging and ignores the psychological and social benefits of child-rearing.
Coach Wulan’s intervention serves as a focal point for those who believe that the childfree narrative is a Western-centric import that may not align with Indonesian socio-cultural and religious values. She argued that the perception of children as a financial or physical burden is a matter of perspective rather than an absolute reality. According to her, the presence of children provides a unique form of emotional and spiritual fulfillment that cannot be quantified by financial metrics or aesthetic standards.
A Life of Balance: Ten Children and a Thriving Career
One of the primary concerns cited by proponents of the childfree lifestyle is the "double burden" faced by women who must balance professional aspirations with domestic responsibilities. Coach Wulan’s life serves as a case study in high-efficiency domestic management. By her own admission, she does not employ a permanent domestic helper, a feat that is increasingly rare among middle-to-upper-class families in Indonesia. This choice, she suggests, fosters a sense of independence and collective responsibility within the family unit.
Her eldest child is 18 years old, currently transitioning into adulthood, while her youngest is a toddler of just one year. This wide age gap requires a dynamic approach to parenting, where older siblings often learn leadership and caregiving skills by assisting with their younger counterparts. Coach Wulan maintains that this environment does not stifle a woman’s career but rather refines her time-management and organizational skills—attributes that are highly valued in the business coaching industry.
Demographic Trends and Economic Implications
The debate over the childfree lifestyle comes at a critical demographic juncture for Indonesia. According to data from the Indonesian Central Bureau of Statistics (BPS), the Total Fertility Rate (TFR) in Indonesia has seen a significant decline over the last several decades. In the 1970s, the TFR stood at approximately 5.6 children per woman. By 2022, this figure had dropped to 2.18, hovering just around the replacement level.
While a lower fertility rate is often associated with economic development and increased female education, a rapid shift toward a "childfree" culture could pose long-term risks. Economists point to the "demographic dividend" that Indonesia currently enjoys—a large productive-age population relative to dependents. However, if the younger generation, specifically Millennials and Gen Z, widely adopts a childfree stance, the country could eventually face the "aging society" crisis currently seen in nations like Japan and South Korea. These countries are struggling with labor shortages and the immense fiscal pressure of supporting an elderly population with a shrinking workforce.
Coach Wulan’s advocacy for "many children, many blessings" (banyak anak banyak rejeki) aligns with traditional Indonesian philosophy but is also backed by her belief in divine providence. She noted that in Islamic theology, every living creature is born with its own "rezeki" (provision or sustenance) guaranteed by God. This belief serves as a psychological buffer against the financial anxiety that often drives the decision to remain childless.
Theological Foundations and the Nobility of Motherhood
Central to Coach Wulan’s rebuttal is the Islamic perspective on the status of women and mothers. She referenced a well-known Hadith where the Prophet Muhammad emphasized that a mother deserves three times more honor and respect than a father. This elevated status is not arbitrary but is a recognition of the physical and mental fortitude required for pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding.
"Why is ‘your mother’ mentioned three times? Because the Prophet truly understood that being a mother is full of struggle," Wulan explained. She categorized the act of childbirth as a form of "Jihad"—a supreme struggle—noting that women who pass away during childbirth are considered martyrs in the faith. By framing motherhood as a noble spiritual journey rather than a domestic chore, Coach Wulan seeks to reclaim the narrative from what she describes as negative feminist campaigns that view children as obstacles to female liberation.
The Role of Media and Family Values in Shaping Youth
Coach Wulan expressed concern over the influence of digital influencers on the value systems of the younger generation. She warned that the "childfree" trend is often presented through a lens of glamor and convenience, without acknowledging the long-term social and emotional consequences. She urged millennials and Gen Z to be more discerning in the content they consume and the role models they follow.
According to Wulan, the definition of what is "good" or "bad" in life is often shaped by one’s environment, including media, family, and religion. She argued that if the youth align their life goals with the teachings of the Quran and Hadith, they will find a balance between worldly success and spiritual fulfillment. "If the obsession of young people is directed toward the afterlife and their value is obedience [to God], then if the source is the Quran and Hadith, God willing, their path will be smooth," she stated.
Analysis of the Societal Impact
The tension between Coach Wulan’s traditional-religious approach and the modern-secular childfree movement highlights a growing ideological rift in Indonesian society. On one hand, the childfree movement represents a shift toward individualism, bodily autonomy, and a rejection of traditional gender roles. On the other hand, figures like Coach Wulan represent the endurance of communal values, religious devotion, and the belief that personal identity is deeply intertwined with family and motherhood.
Sociologists suggest that the childfree debate is not merely about whether to have children, but about the changing definition of "success" for the modern Indonesian woman. For Coach Wulan, success is holistic—it involves professional achievement, organizational leadership, and the successful raising of a large family. For others, success may be defined by the freedom to travel, career singular focus, and the absence of domestic constraints.
However, Coach Wulan’s message to women is one of empowerment through expansion rather than limitation. She encouraged women to never stop learning and to never feel that being a wife or a mother prevents them from increasing their personal value. Her involvement in ICMI and Kadin demonstrates that a woman can be a significant player in national economic and intellectual circles while also being the matriarch of a ten-child household.
Conclusion and Future Outlook
As the debate continues, the story of Coach Wulan provides a significant data point in the ongoing conversation about family planning in Indonesia. Her life challenges the binary choice between a career and a family, suggesting that with the right mindset, spiritual grounding, and organizational skills, it is possible to excel in both.
While the childfree movement may continue to gain traction among urban, secular-leaning demographics, the counter-narrative provided by individuals like Coach Wulan ensures that the traditional and religious perspectives remain a powerful force in shaping the nation’s social fabric. Ultimately, the discourse reflects a broader struggle to define the future of the Indonesian family in an era of rapid globalization and digital influence. Coach Wulan’s message remains clear: children are not a burden to be avoided, but a source of joy, a spiritual mission, and a legacy that enriches both the individual and society at large.
