Hadi Wijaya
The discourse surrounding the "childfree" lifestyle—a conscious decision by individuals or couples to remain childless—has resurfaced as a prominent topic of national conversation in Indonesia, following a series of viral social media interactions and subsequent critiques from religious scholars. The debate was reignited by comments from Indonesian influencer and YouTuber Gita Savitri Devi, commonly known as Gitasav, whose assertions regarding the relationship between childlessness and physical youthfulness sparked a polarized reaction across various digital platforms. In response to the growing visibility of this ideology, Ustazah Tria Meriza, the founder of @sekolahmuslimah.bahagia, has provided a comprehensive theological critique, outlining why the childfree concept is viewed as incompatible with Islamic tenets.
The controversy reached a fever pitch in early 2023 when Gitasav, currently residing in Germany, responded to a social media comment praising her youthful appearance. She suggested that not having children served as a "natural anti-aging" remedy, citing the absence of stress associated with child-rearing and the ability to maintain consistent sleep patterns as primary factors. While some segments of the public defended her right to personal autonomy, her comments were met with significant pushback from those who viewed her stance as a dismissal of the intrinsic value of motherhood and a deviation from cultural and religious norms in Indonesia.
The Theological Framework: Four Pillars of Critique
Ustazah Tria Meriza, speaking via her Instagram platform on February 10, 2023, categorized the childfree ideology as "haram" (forbidden) for Muslim couples based on four primary arguments. Her critique centers on the belief that the movement is not merely a personal choice but a reflection of broader ideological shifts that conflict with the Islamic worldview.
First, Meriza argues that the childfree ideology is a byproduct of Western secularism. This ideological framework, she posits, seeks to decouple religious values from the private sphere of family life. In a secular context, decisions are often made based on utilitarianism—evaluating choices solely on perceived personal benefit or convenience—rather than on the boundaries of "halal" (permissible) and "haram." According to Meriza, adopting such a lifestyle involves importing a worldview that prioritizes individual gratification over divine mandate.
Second, the Ustazah addressed the common motivation of financial anxiety. Many proponents of the childfree lifestyle cite the rising cost of living and the "fear of poverty" as reasons to avoid procreation. From an Islamic perspective, Meriza argues this reflects a lack of "aqidah" (faith). She reminded her followers that Islamic teachings guarantee that every living soul is provided for by the Creator. In this view, fearing that a child will bring financial ruin is seen as a direct contradiction to the belief in Allah as "Ar-Razzaq" (The Provider).
The third point of her critique focuses on the fundamental purpose of marriage in Islam. Meriza cited Surah an-Nahl, Verse 72 of the Quran, which states: "And Allah has made for you from yourselves mates and has made for you from your mates sons and grandchildren and has provided for you from the good things. Is it then in falsehood that they believe and in the favor of Allah they disbelieve?" This scripture is frequently used by scholars to illustrate that the expansion of the family tree is a primary blessing and an intentional objective of the marital bond.
Finally, Meriza highlighted the prophetic tradition (Sunnah). She referenced a well-authenticated "hadith" (prophetic saying) where the Prophet Muhammad encouraged his followers to marry women who are "loving and fertile." The Prophet stated, "Marry those who are loving and fertile, for I will be proud of your great numbers before the other nations on the Day of Resurrection." This hadith suggests that the strength of the Muslim community is partially derived from its demographic vitality, making the intentional rejection of children a move that runs counter to the Prophet’s desires for his "Ummah" (community).
Chronology of the Modern Childfree Discourse in Indonesia
The concept of being childfree is not new, but its entry into the Indonesian mainstream is a relatively recent phenomenon, facilitated by the globalization of social media. The term began to gain traction in the late 20th century in Western nations such as the United States, France, and the United Kingdom. However, in Indonesia—a country with a deep-seated cultural emphasis on "Banyak anak, banyak rezeki" (Many children, much fortune)—the idea has historically been met with skepticism.
The timeline of the current debate can be traced back to 2021, when Gitasav first publicly discussed her decision to remain childfree. At the time, the conversation was largely academic or confined to niche feminist circles. However, the 2023 "anti-aging" comment acted as a catalyst, moving the discussion from personal preference to a public health and religious debate. Following her comments, various public figures, including celebrities and religious leaders, weighed in. The Indonesian Ulema Council (MUI) and representatives from major Islamic organizations like Nahdlatul Ulama (NU) and Muhammadiyah have previously expressed that while the timing of having children can be managed (through "tanzimun nasl" or family planning), the total rejection of children without a valid medical or emergency reason is generally discouraged or prohibited in traditional jurisprudence.
Global Context and Supporting Data
The shift toward childfree living is part of a global demographic trend. According to data from the Pew Research Center, a growing number of U.S. adults who are not already parents say they are unlikely to ever have children. In 2021, some 44% of non-parents aged 18 to 49 said it was not too likely or not likely at all that they would have children, an increase from 37% in 2018.
In East Asia, countries like South Korea and Japan are facing "demographic cliffs" where birth rates have plummeted to record lows. While the reasons vary, including high housing costs and demanding work cultures, the social acceptance of childlessness has grown. In Indonesia, the total fertility rate (TFR) has also seen a gradual decline. According to the Indonesian Central Bureau of Statistics (BPS), the TFR in 1971 was 5.61, whereas by 2022, it had dropped to approximately 2.18. While this decline is largely attributed to successful government family planning programs (KB), the emergence of the "childfree" choice represents a voluntary shift that goes beyond mere "planning" to a total cessation of reproduction.
Sociological Analysis and Implications
The rise of the childfree discourse in Indonesia highlights a burgeoning tension between traditional collective values and modern individualistic aspirations. Sociologists suggest that the movement is often driven by a variety of factors:
- Economic Pressures: The "sandwich generation" phenomenon, where young adults must support both their parents and their own children, makes the prospect of additional dependents daunting.
- Career Advancement: For many women, the "motherhood penalty" in the workplace remains a significant concern.
- Environmental Concerns: Some argue that reducing the human population is a necessary step to combat climate change.
- Psychological Readiness: An increasing awareness of mental health and "generational trauma" has led some to believe they are not equipped to raise children in a healthy environment.
However, from a national policy perspective, a widespread shift toward childfree living could have significant long-term implications. Indonesia is currently aiming to capitalize on a "demographic bonus"—a period where the productive-age population outnumbers the non-productive age groups. If birth rates fall too sharply due to lifestyle shifts, the country could face an aging population crisis similar to that of developed nations, potentially straining the healthcare system and slowing economic growth.
Official Responses and Public Sentiment
The reaction from the Indonesian public has been multifaceted. While Ustazah Tria Meriza and other religious figures emphasize the spiritual and communal obligations of parenthood, some human rights advocates argue for the "right to choose." They contend that the decision to have children is a private matter and that forcing motherhood on those who are unwilling can lead to poor child-rearing outcomes and domestic dissatisfaction.
In contrast, the Indonesian Ministry of Health and the National Population and Family Planning Board (BKKBN) continue to promote the "Two Children are Enough" campaign. BKKBN Head Hasto Wardoyo has noted in various interviews that while the government respects individual choices, the ideal replacement level for a population is a TFR of 2.1. He has expressed concern that if the childfree trend becomes a dominant social norm, it could jeopardize the nation’s future stability.
Conclusion: A Divided Path
The critique provided by Ustazah Tria Meriza serves as a reminder of the powerful role religion plays in shaping social norms in Indonesia. By labeling the childfree movement as a secular Western import that contradicts the Quran and Sunnah, she reinforces the traditional view that children are not a burden but a divine gift and a social responsibility.
As Indonesia continues to modernize, the debate over the childfree lifestyle is likely to persist. It represents a fundamental clash between the "autonomy of the self" and the "obligations of the faith." While influencers like Gitasav highlight the perceived personal benefits of childlessness, religious leaders like Meriza call for a return to scriptural values, emphasizing that the joy of a large and vibrant family is a cornerstone of both earthly happiness and spiritual fulfillment. The resolution of this debate will ultimately be found in how the next generation of Indonesians balances their personal aspirations with their cultural and religious heritage.
