Hadi Wijaya
The discourse surrounding the "childfree" lifestyle has resurfaced in the Indonesian public sphere, prompting significant responses from religious scholars and community leaders who view the movement as a departure from traditional and spiritual norms. Ustazah Tria Meriza, the founder of @sekolahmuslimah.bahagia, has recently articulated a comprehensive critique of the childfree ideology, labeling it "haram" or forbidden for Muslim couples based on several theological and philosophical grounds. This debate was reignited following controversial statements made by social media influencer and YouTuber Gita Savitri, known as Gitasav, who suggested that remaining childless is a natural "anti-aging" remedy. The intersection of modern lifestyle choices and traditional religious mandates has created a complex dialogue regarding the future of the family unit in Indonesia, the world’s most populous Muslim-majority nation.
Ustazah Tria Meriza’s intervention comes at a time when digital platforms have become a primary battleground for clashing ideologies regarding reproductive rights and religious obligations. In a detailed address shared via her social media channels, Tria outlined four primary reasons why the adoption of a childfree lifestyle—defined as a voluntary and permanent decision to not have children—is considered inconsistent with the tenets of Islam. She argues that the ideology is not merely a personal choice but a reflection of a broader secular worldview that prioritizes individual comfort over divine mandates.
The Theological Foundation of the Critique
The first pillar of Tria’s argument rests on the origin of the childfree concept, which she identifies as a product of Western secularism. According to Tria, this ideology is rooted in a worldview that separates religious guidance from the practicalities of family life. In secular frameworks, life decisions are often made based on the principle of utility or personal benefit rather than the criteria of "halal" (permissible) and "haram" (forbidden). Tria emphasizes that for a Muslim, every aspect of life, including the structure of the family, must be aligned with the Sharia. By prioritizing individual autonomy over the prophetic tradition of procreation, the childfree movement is seen as an encroachment of secular values into the Muslim household.
Secondly, Tria addresses the pragmatic concerns that often drive couples toward the childfree path, specifically the fear of financial instability. Many proponents of the lifestyle cite the rising cost of living and the immense financial burden of raising a child in the modern economy as primary motivators. However, Tria asserts that this mindset directly contradicts Islamic "aqidah" (creed). In Islamic theology, it is a fundamental belief that Allah is "Ar-Razzaq" (The Provider) and that every soul born into the world brings its own "rezeki" or sustenance. Citing the Quranic perspective, she argues that fearing poverty as a result of having children reflects a lack of trust in divine providence, a sentiment echoed in various verses that warn against the killing of children for fear of want.
The third argument focuses on the fundamental purpose of marriage in Islam. Tria points out that the primary objective of the marital bond is the continuation of the human race and the establishment of a family. She references Surah an-Nahl, Verse 72, which states: "And Allah has made for you from yourselves mates and has made for you from your mates sons and grandchildren and has provided for you from the good things. Is it then in falsehood that they believe and in the favor of Allah they disbelieve?" From this scriptural standpoint, the desire for offspring is not just a biological urge but a divinely ordained function of the institution of marriage.
Finally, Tria highlights the Prophetic encouragement to have large families. She cites a well-known Sahih Hadith where the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) encouraged his followers to marry women who are "loving and fertile," stating, "For I will boast of your great numbers before the other nations on the Day of Resurrection." According to Tria, this establishes a clear preference within the faith for procreation, positioning the childfree choice as an active rejection of a Sunnah (Prophetic tradition) that seeks to strengthen the Ummah (Muslim community).
The Gitasav Controversy: A Catalyst for National Discourse
The current intensity of the childfree debate in Indonesia can be traced back to a series of interactions involving Gita Savitri, an Indonesian influencer residing in Germany. The controversy reached a boiling point when a follower complimented her youthful appearance, to which she responded that not having children is a "natural anti-aging" factor. She argued that the absence of the stress associated with parenting, combined with the ability to maintain a consistent sleep schedule and afford high-end skincare, contributes to a more youthful look.
This comment was met with immediate backlash from various segments of Indonesian society. Critics argued that her statement was insensitive to mothers and oversimplified the complexities of aging and happiness. More importantly, it sparked a national conversation about the "commodification" of the human experience and whether the decision to forego children for the sake of aesthetics or personal leisure is compatible with Indonesian cultural and religious values.
While Gitasav’s comments were the immediate trigger, the underlying tension has been building for years. As Indonesia undergoes rapid urbanization and more women pursue higher education and professional careers, the traditional timeline of marriage and immediate childbearing is being challenged. The childfree movement, which began gaining traction in Western nations like the United States, France, and the United Kingdom in the late 20th century, has found a foothold among a segment of the Indonesian urban middle class.
Defining Childfree and Its Global Context
To understand the weight of Tria Meriza’s critique, it is essential to define what "childfree" entails in a modern context. Unlike "childless," which usually refers to those who want children but cannot have them due to biological or situational reasons, "childfree" is a deliberate choice. It encompasses a refusal to have biological, step, or adopted children.
According to sociological data, the reasons for choosing a childfree life vary significantly. Some cite environmental concerns, arguing that the planet is overpopulated and that reducing the number of new humans is a moral imperative to combat climate change. Others point to "tokophobia" (the fear of pregnancy and childbirth) or a desire to maintain professional momentum in competitive job markets. In many developed nations, birth rates have fallen below the replacement level of 2.1 children per woman, leading to aging populations and potential economic stagnation.
In contrast, Indonesia currently enjoys a "demographic dividend," with a large working-age population. However, the National Population and Family Planning Board (BKKBN) has noted a gradual decline in the total fertility rate (TFR) over the decades. While Indonesia’s TFR remains around 2.1 to 2.18, the emergence of the childfree ideology presents a new variable for demographic planners. Hasto Wardoyo, the head of BKKBN, has previously commented that while the government respects personal choices, the long-term implications of a shrinking population could mirror the crises currently seen in countries like Japan and South Korea.
Economic Considerations and the Concept of Sustenance
The economic argument is perhaps the most contentious part of the childfree debate. Proponents of the lifestyle argue that in an era of precarious employment and inflation, not having children is a responsible financial decision. They emphasize the "opportunity cost" of parenting—the time and money that could otherwise be spent on travel, investments, or self-improvement.
From Ustazah Tria’s perspective, this is a "utilitarian" approach that fails to account for the spiritual rewards of parenting. In the Islamic view, children are considered an "Amanah" (trust) from God and a source of "Sadaqah Jariyah" (ongoing charity). A righteous child who prays for their parents after their death is considered one of the three things that continue to benefit a person in the afterlife. Tria’s critique suggests that by focusing solely on the "cost" of a child, individuals are ignoring the eternal "value" that children provide.
Furthermore, the Indonesian government has expressed concern that a widespread childfree trend could lead to an "aging society" where a smaller workforce is burdened with supporting a large elderly population. This economic imbalance has historically led to increased taxes, labor shortages, and a decline in national innovation.
Psychological Factors and the Fear of Parenting
Another layer of the childfree discourse involves mental health and the fear of "generational trauma." Many young Indonesians on social media express a fear that they are not emotionally equipped to raise children or that they will pass on the traumas they inherited from their own parents. This "fear of failure" as a parent is a significant driver of the childfree choice.
Ustazah Tria’s response to this is a call for better education and spiritual preparation. Through her platform, @sekolahmuslimah.bahagia, she advocates for a model of "happy Muslim motherhood," suggesting that the anxieties of parenting can be mitigated through community support and a return to religious principles. She argues that instead of running away from the responsibility of parenthood, Muslims should seek the tools to become better, more conscious parents. "Many children are actually fun," she remarked in her video, attempting to de-stigmatize the perceived "misery" of child-rearing that often circulates in childfree circles.
Broader Implications for Social Fabric and National Stability
The debate over the childfree lifestyle is more than just a clash of personal opinions; it is a reflection of a society in transition. As Indonesia navigates its identity in a globalized world, the tension between individual rights and collective duties becomes more pronounced.
Religious authorities, including the Indonesian Ulema Council (MUI), have generally echoed Tria Meriza’s sentiments. While Islamic law allows for "Tanzim al-Nasal" (birth spacing) for health or economic reasons using contraception, the concept of "Tahdid al-Nasal" (limiting or stopping birth permanently without a valid medical reason) is widely discouraged or viewed as "Makruh" (disliked) or "Haram" (forbidden) depending on the intent.
The sociological impact of a childfree trend could also alter the traditional Indonesian support system. Historically, the Indonesian family structure is based on "Gotong Royong" (mutual cooperation), where children take care of their aging parents. A shift toward childfree living would necessitate a complete overhaul of the social safety net, requiring the state to play a much larger role in elderly care—a transition that would be both culturally and economically jarring for the nation.
In conclusion, Ustazah Tria Meriza’s critique serves as a formal theological boundary-setting against a rising global trend. By framing the childfree choice as a product of secularism and a rejection of divine providence, she reaffirms the traditional Islamic view of the family as the cornerstone of society. As the digital age continues to bring Western ideologies into the homes of millions of Indonesians, the dialogue between influencers like Gita Savitri and religious educators like Tria Meriza will likely continue to shape the cultural landscape of the country for years to come. The resolution of this debate will ultimately determine not just the size of the future Indonesian population, but the very values that define its social and spiritual identity.
