Hadi Wijaya
The discourse surrounding the "childfree" lifestyle—a conscious decision by individuals or couples to forgo having children—has recently resurfaced in the Indonesian public sphere, sparking intense debate across social media platforms and religious circles. This resurgence was largely catalyzed by comments made by influencer and YouTuber Gita Savitri, known as Gitasav, who suggested that remaining childless is a "natural anti-aging" secret, asserting that the absence of child-related stress contributes to a more youthful appearance. In response to this viral sentiment, Ustazah Tria Meriza, the founder of @sekolahmuslimah.bahagia, has provided a comprehensive theological critique, outlining why the childfree ideology is considered incompatible with Islamic principles.
According to Ustazah Tria, the adoption of a childfree lifestyle is considered haram (forbidden) for Muslim couples based on four primary theological and philosophical arguments. Speaking through a series of informative videos on her Instagram account, she emphasized that the movement is not merely a personal lifestyle choice but is rooted in a worldview that stands in direct opposition to the fundamental objectives of an Islamic marriage. The debate highlights a growing tension between traditional religious values and modern individualistic trends that have begun to permeate Southeast Asian societies.
The Philosophical and Theological Foundations of the Critique
The first argument presented by Ustazah Tria centers on the ideological origins of the childfree movement. She posits that the concept is a product of Western secularism, a framework that seeks to decouple religious guidance from personal and family life. In a secular paradigm, life decisions are often governed by the principle of utilitarianism—maximizing personal pleasure and minimizing perceived burdens—rather than adhering to the boundaries of halal (permissible) and haram. Ustazah Tria argues that for a Muslim, every facet of life, including reproductive choices, must be viewed through the lens of divine mandate rather than solitary human desire.
The second point of contention involves the underlying fear of financial instability. Many proponents of the childfree lifestyle cite the rising cost of living, education, and healthcare as primary reasons to avoid parenthood. However, Ustazah Tria asserts that this rationale contradicts the core Islamic tenet of aqidah (faith). In Islamic theology, Allah is recognized as Ar-Razzaq (The Provider), and it is a fundamental belief that every soul brought into the world is accompanied by its own allocated sustenance. The Quran explicitly warns against the fear of poverty as a reason to avoid children, suggesting that such anxiety reflects a lack of trust in divine providence.
The third reason pertains to the fundamental purpose of marriage in Islam. Ustazah Tria references Surah an-Nahl, Verse 72, which states: "And Allah has made for you from yourselves mates and has made for you from your mates sons and grandchildren and has provided for you from the good things. Is it then in falsehood that they believe and in the favor of Allah they disbelieve?" This verse is often cited by scholars to demonstrate that the procreation of a righteous lineage is one of the primary objectives of the marital bond. By intentionally rejecting the possibility of offspring, a couple is viewed as neglecting a significant component of the "Maqasid al-Shari’ah" (the objectives of Islamic law), specifically the preservation of progeny (Hifz al-Nasl).
Finally, Ustazah Tria highlights the Prophetic encouragement to increase the size of the Muslim community. She cites a well-authenticated Hadith (recorded by Abu Daud, an-Nasa’i, and Ahmad) in which Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) encouraged his followers to marry women who are "loving and prolific" (fertile). The Prophet stated, "For I will boast of your great numbers before the other nations on the Day of Resurrection." From this perspective, having children is not just a personal joy but a contribution to the strength and continuity of the Ummah (the global Muslim community).
The Catalyst: The Gita Savitri Controversy and Public Reaction
The current intensity of the debate can be traced back to early February 2023, when Gita Savitri responded to a compliment on Instagram regarding her youthful appearance. Her response, which suggested that not having children allowed her to sleep more and avoid the stress of parenting—thereby acting as a "natural botox"—went viral. While some younger netizens defended her right to bodily autonomy and personal choice, a significant portion of the Indonesian public, including religious leaders, celebrities, and health professionals, voiced their disagreement.
Critics argued that Savitri’s comments oversimplified the complexities of aging and parenting, while also potentially insulting mothers who find deep fulfillment and spiritual growth in raising children. The controversy prompted various public figures to weigh in, with many emphasizing that while parenting is undoubtedly challenging, it is also a source of psychological resilience and social cohesion that cannot be measured by physical appearance alone.
Sociological Context and Demographic Trends
The childfree phenomenon is not unique to Indonesia; it is a global trend that has gained significant momentum in the 21st century. Originally gaining traction in Western nations such as the United States, France, and the United Kingdom in the late 20th century, the movement has recently seen an uptick in East Asian and Southeast Asian countries. In nations like South Korea and Japan, "childfree" choices have contributed to record-low fertility rates, leading to what sociologists call a "demographic time bomb" or an aging society crisis.
In Indonesia, data from the Central Bureau of Statistics (BPS) shows a gradual decline in the Total Fertility Rate (TFR). While the TFR was as high as 5.6 in the early 1970s, it dropped to approximately 2.1 by 2022. While much of this decline is attributed to successful family planning programs (KB) and increased access to education for women, the emergence of the childfree ideology represents a new shift: a voluntary transition from "limiting" children to "eliminating" the intention to have them altogether.
Sociologists point to several factors driving this shift among the urban middle class in Indonesia:
- Economic Pressures: The "sandwich generation" phenomenon, where individuals must support both their aging parents and their own lifestyle, makes the added cost of children seem daunting.
- Career Aspirations: Many women fear the "motherhood penalty" in the professional world, where taking time off for child-rearing can lead to stagnation in career progression.
- Mental Health Awareness: A growing number of individuals cite a lack of "parental readiness" or a desire to break cycles of generational trauma as reasons to remain childless.
- Environmental Concerns: Some adopt the "anti-natalist" view, arguing that bringing more people into an overpopulated and climate-stressed world is unethical.
Analysis of Implications: Faith vs. Modernity
The stance taken by figures like Ustazah Tria Meriza reflects a broader effort by religious institutions to provide a counter-narrative to the individualistic values of the digital age. From an Islamic legal perspective, while some scholars differentiate between the temporary delay of pregnancy (which is generally permissible for health or economic reasons) and the permanent, dogmatic rejection of children, the consensus among traditionalist circles remains that a lifestyle built on the deliberate exclusion of children is contrary to the spirit of the faith.
The implications of this debate are multifaceted. On a social level, the normalization of childfree ideologies could lead to a weakening of the traditional family structure, which serves as the primary social safety net in Indonesia. Unlike many Western countries, Indonesia does not have an extensive state-funded welfare system for the elderly; the culture relies heavily on children caring for their aging parents. A significant shift toward childlessness could necessitate a radical restructuring of the country’s social and economic policies.
Furthermore, there is a psychological dimension to the debate. Proponents of the childfree lifestyle often argue that it is better to have no children than to have "unwanted" children who may suffer from neglect. Conversely, religious educators like Ustazah Tria argue that the "pleasure" of having children, which she noted at the end of her video, provides a unique form of emotional and spiritual fulfillment that modern hedonism fails to account for.
Conclusion and Moving Forward
The debate over the childfree lifestyle in Indonesia serves as a microcosm of the larger struggle between traditional religious values and the globalizing forces of secular individualism. While the term "childfree" may be a relatively new import from Western discourse, the questions it raises about the purpose of life, the nature of happiness, and the responsibilities of the individual to the collective are ancient.
As Ustazah Tria Meriza concluded in her address, Muslims are encouraged to be cautious when adopting ideas that conflict with the established Syariat. By framing the discussion around the concepts of divine trust, prophetic pride, and the inherent joys of parenthood, religious leaders seek to remind the public that within the Islamic worldview, children are viewed not as a burden to be avoided, but as a blessing to be nurtured and a legacy to be cherished. As the conversation continues, it remains clear that for the majority of the Indonesian population, the values of faith and family continue to hold a central, though increasingly contested, place in the national identity.
