Hadi Wijaya
The discourse surrounding the "childfree" lifestyle has resurfaced in the Indonesian public sphere, sparking a significant theological and sociological debate following controversial remarks by social media influencer and YouTuber Gita Savitri, commonly known as Gitasav. The influencer recently linked the decision to remain childless with maintaining a youthful appearance, an assertion that triggered a wave of reactions from various sectors of Indonesian society, including religious scholars. Among those voicing a strong critique is Ustazah Tria Meriza, the founder of @sekolahmuslimah.bahagia, who has articulated a comprehensive religious stance on the matter, categorizing the intentional adoption of a childfree ideology as "haram" or prohibited for Muslim couples.
Ustazah Tria Meriza’s intervention comes at a time when the "childfree" concept—defined as a voluntary choice to not have children, whether biological, step, or adopted—is increasingly being discussed in urban Indonesian circles. According to Tria, the childfree ideology is fundamentally incompatible with Islamic syariat (law) and the broader objectives of a Muslim marriage. Her critique is built upon four primary pillars: the secular origins of the movement, the theological misunderstanding of provision (rezeki), the core principles of procreation in marriage, and the prophetic encouragement to expand the Muslim community.
The Ideological Roots and the Secular Critique
The first reason cited by Ustazah Tria Meriza for the prohibition of the childfree lifestyle is its origin in Western secular ideologies. She argues that the concept was born from a societal framework that prioritizes secularism—the separation of religious values from private and family life. In this context, decisions regarding reproduction are often made based on individualistic benefits or utilitarian calculations rather than divine guidance.
"The childfree idea is born from the ideology of Western society based on secularism, which separates religion from life and family matters," Tria explained through a series of social media communications. She emphasized that within a secular framework, life choices are weighed solely on the principle of personal "benefit" or "utility." This stands in stark contrast to the Islamic worldview, where every action is evaluated through the lens of "halal" (permissible) and "haram" (forbidden). For a Muslim, the purpose of life is the worship of Allah, and family life is seen as a central pillar of that worship, governed by specific divine instructions rather than mere personal preference or convenience.
The history of the childfree movement supports this observation of its Western origins. Emerging into prominence in the late 20th century in countries like the United States, France, and the United Kingdom, the term "childfree" was coined to distinguish those who choose not to have children from those who are "childless" due to biological or circumstantial reasons. The movement gained momentum alongside the rise of second-wave feminism and the increased participation of women in the workforce, where children were sometimes viewed as an impediment to career advancement or personal autonomy.
Financial Anxiety vs. Divine Assurance
The second pillar of Tria Meriza’s argument addresses the economic motivations often cited by proponents of the childfree lifestyle. Many individuals who choose to be childfree express concerns over the rising cost of living, the "sandwich generation" phenomenon—where adults must care for both their parents and their children—and the general financial burden of raising a child in a modern economy.
However, from an Islamic perspective, Tria asserts that choosing to be childfree out of fear of poverty or financial hardship is a direct contradiction of "aqidah" (creed). In Islam, it is a fundamental belief that Allah SWT is the "Ar-Razzaq" (The Provider) who guarantees the sustenance of every living creature. Tria points out that the Quran explicitly warns against the mindset of fearing poverty through children. This theological stance suggests that a lack of trust in God’s provision constitutes a spiritual failing, as the "rezeki" (sustenance) for the child is believed to be granted by God through the parents.
This perspective is particularly relevant in the Indonesian context, where social safety nets are often informal and family-based. While secular analysis focuses on the "cost of a child," the religious analysis focuses on the "blessing of a child," suggesting that children often bring unforeseen economic and spiritual opportunities to a household.
The Syariat Principle of Procreation
The third reason provided by Ustazah Tria is rooted in the fundamental purpose of marriage as defined by Islamic law. She argues that the very essence of a marriage contract in Islam includes the intent to procreate and preserve the human race. This is not merely a social tradition but a command found within the primary sources of Islam.
Tria cites Surah an-Nahl, Verse 72 of the Holy Quran, which states: "And Allah has made for you from yourselves mates and has made for you from your mates sons and grandchildren and has provided for you from the good things. Is it then in falsehood that they believe and in the favor of Allah they disbelieve?"
According to this interpretation, children and grandchildren are described as a "favor" from Allah. To intentionally reject this favor as a lifestyle choice is seen by scholars like Tria as a rejection of the natural order and the divine design for the family unit. The syariat views the family as the building block of society; thus, a movement that seeks to systematically remove children from the family structure is viewed as a threat to the continuity of the "Ummah" (the global Muslim community).
The Prophetic Tradition and the Goal of a Large Community
The fourth and final reason for the prohibition, according to Tria Meriza, is the explicit encouragement from the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) for Muslims to marry and have many children. She references a well-known Sahih Hadith (prophetic tradition) narrated by Abu Daud, an-Nasa’i, and Ahmad, in which the Prophet said: "Marry the loving and the fertile, for I will be proud of your great numbers before the other nations on the Day of Resurrection."
This Hadith establishes a clear preference within Islamic tradition for large families. The Prophet’s "pride" in the size of his community on the Day of Judgment serves as a motivational factor for many Muslim couples. By choosing a childfree path, couples are seen as opting out of a communal and religious goal to strengthen the presence of the Muslim faith through lineage.
Tria concluded her remarks by reminding her followers that "having many children is enjoyable" and warned against the uncritical adoption of foreign ideas that clash with religious tenets. Her message serves as a call for Indonesian Muslims to remain vigilant against cultural trends that may appear modern or sophisticated but are, in her view, spiritually detrimental.
Context: The Viral Controversy and Public Reaction
The current debate was ignited by comments made by Gita Savitri, an Indonesian influencer living in Germany. In a response to a follower who complimented her youthful looks at the age of 30, Savitri replied that not having children is a "natural anti-aging" method. She argued that without children, one can sleep more, experience less stress, and have the financial means to afford cosmetic procedures like botox.
This comment was perceived by many in Indonesia as dismissive of the sacrifices made by mothers and as an oversimplification of the aging process. While some defended her right to bodily autonomy and personal choice, the backlash was swift, particularly from conservative and religious groups. Indonesia, a nation that prides itself on strong family values and has a majority Muslim population, often views the childfree movement with skepticism.
The Indonesian Ulema Council (MUI) has previously touched upon this subject, with some members noting that while delaying pregnancy for health or economic reasons (family planning) is permissible, the absolute and permanent rejection of children without a valid medical reason is contrary to the spirit of Islam.
Socio-Economic and Demographic Implications
Beyond the theological debate, the childfree movement has broader implications for Indonesia’s future. Indonesia is currently aiming to capitalize on its "demographic bonus"—a period where the working-age population outnumbers the dependents—to achieve its "Golden Indonesia 2045" vision. A widespread shift toward childfree lifestyles could potentially mirror the demographic crises seen in East Asian nations like Japan and South Korea, where plummeting birth rates have led to aging populations and labor shortages.
Data from the Indonesian Central Bureau of Statistics (BPS) indicates that while Indonesia’s Total Fertility Rate (TFR) has remained relatively stable around 2.1 children per woman, there is a growing trend among urban, highly educated women to delay marriage and childbearing. The childfree discourse, while still a minority view, represents a shift in how some segments of the youth perceive the "ideal" life.
The economic reality in Indonesia also plays a role. The high cost of education and healthcare, combined with the lack of affordable childcare for working mothers, creates a environment where the childfree choice becomes an attractive, albeit controversial, alternative. Analysts suggest that the government may need to address these structural issues if it wishes to encourage family growth alongside religious leaders.
Conclusion: A Clash of Worldviews
The critique offered by Ustazah Tria Meriza highlights a fundamental clash of worldviews. On one side is the individualistic, secular-liberal perspective that views reproduction as a matter of personal choice and lifestyle design. On the other side is the communal, religious perspective that views children as a divine trust, a social responsibility, and a source of spiritual blessing.
As the childfree movement continues to be a topic of viral discussion on social media, the response from figures like Tria Meriza ensures that the debate remains grounded in the theological framework of the majority. For many in Indonesia, the decision to have children is not merely a biological or financial one, but a profound expression of faith and commitment to the future of the nation and the faith.
The discourse remains ongoing, with social media platforms serving as the primary battleground for these competing ideologies. However, for the followers of @sekolahmuslimah.bahagia and many others in the Muslim community, the guidance provided by religious scholars remains the definitive benchmark for navigating the complexities of modern life.
