Hadi Wijaya
The discourse surrounding the "childfree" lifestyle has resurfaced in the Indonesian public sphere, sparking a nationwide debate that bridges the gap between modern individual autonomy and traditional religious values. This latest wave of controversy was ignited by comments made by prominent influencer and YouTuber Gita Savitri, known as Gitasav, who suggested that a childfree lifestyle serves as a "natural anti-aging" remedy. The statement, which suggested that the absence of children reduces stress and allows for better sleep and skincare maintenance, immediately drew a sharp rebuke from various segments of Indonesian society, most notably from religious scholars who view such a stance as a departure from Islamic principles.
Among the most vocal critics is Ustazah Tria Meriza, the founder of the @sekolahmuslimah.bahagia platform. In a detailed response shared via social media, Ustazah Tria outlined a comprehensive theological and philosophical critique of the childfree movement. She argued that for Muslim couples, the intentional adoption of a childfree ideology is considered "haram" (prohibited) based on four primary pillars of Islamic jurisprudence and social philosophy. Her intervention highlights a growing tension in Indonesia—a nation currently navigating the complexities of a "demographic bonus" while simultaneously witnessing a shift in marital expectations among the younger, urbanized population.
The Theological Framework: Four Reasons for Prohibition
Ustazah Tria Meriza’s critique is rooted in the belief that the childfree movement is not merely a personal choice but a reflection of a deeper ideological shift that contradicts the core tenets of Islam. She categorized her objections into four distinct arguments, addressing the origins, the psychological motivations, and the scriptural mandates surrounding procreation.
First, Ustazah Tria identified the childfree movement as a product of Western secularism. She argued that the ideology emerged from societies that prioritize the separation of religious values from daily life and family structures. According to her analysis, the childfree choice is often governed by "utilitarianism"—a philosophical framework where decisions are made based on personal benefit, comfort, or material gain rather than divine command. In this view, children are seen through the lens of "cost-benefit" analysis rather than as a sacred trust (amanah) from God.
Second, the Ustazah addressed the common motivation of financial insecurity. Many proponents of the childfree lifestyle cite the rising cost of living and the economic burden of child-rearing as a primary reason for their choice. However, Ustazah Tria asserted that this mindset contradicts the fundamental Islamic creed (aqidah). In Islam, it is believed that Allah is the Provider (Ar-Razzaq) and has guaranteed the sustenance (rizq) of every living creature. Fearing poverty as a result of having children is seen as a lack of faith in divine providence, a sentiment echoed in several Quranic verses that forbid the fear of want as a reason to avoid parenthood.
The third argument focuses on the ontological purpose of marriage in Islam. Citing Surah an-Nahl, Verse 72, Ustazah Tria pointed out that the Quran explicitly describes the creation of spouses and the subsequent gift of children and grandchildren as a divine blessing. The verse states: "And Allah has made for you from yourselves mates and has made for you from your mates sons and grandchildren and has provided for you from the good things. Is it then in falsehood that they believe and in the favor of Allah they disbelieve?" From this perspective, the very structure of Islamic marriage is designed with procreation as a central, though not sole, objective.
Finally, she highlighted the Prophetic tradition (Sunnah) which encourages Muslims to marry and have large families. She referenced a Sahih (authentic) Hadith narrated by Abu Daud, an-Nasa’i, and Ahmad, in which the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) expressed his desire for his followers to be numerous. The Prophet stated, "Marry the loving and the fertile, for I will be proud of your great numbers before the other nations on the Day of Resurrection." This tradition positions the growth of the Muslim community as a matter of communal strength and spiritual pride, making the intentional decision to remain childless for lifestyle reasons a direct contradiction to the Prophet’s guidance.
The Chronology of the Controversy
The current intensity of the childfree debate in Indonesia can be traced back to a specific digital interaction. Gita Savitri, an Indonesian influencer based in Germany, responded to a compliment on Instagram regarding her youthful appearance at the age of 30. Her response—"Not having kids is indeed natural anti-aging. You can sleep for 8 hours every day, no stress hearing kids screaming. And when you finally got wrinkles, you have the money to pay for botox"—went viral across Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram.
The comment was perceived by many as a dismissal of the sacrifices made by mothers and a trivialization of the parental experience. While Gitasav has long been open about her choice to be childfree, the link between "staying young" and "avoiding children" touched a sensitive nerve in a culture where motherhood is highly venerated.
The backlash was swift. Within 48 hours of the comment going viral, several public figures, including celebrities, psychologists, and religious leaders, weighed in. While some defended Gitasav’s right to personal autonomy, the majority of the discourse focused on the perceived "selfishness" of the statement. Ustazah Tria’s response on February 10, 2023, was a pivotal moment in the religious critique, providing a structured Islamic counter-narrative to the influencer’s secular lifestyle choice.
Defining "Childfree" in a Modern Context
To understand the weight of this debate, it is essential to define the term as it is understood today. As noted by Ustazah Tria in her educational content, the term "childfree" refers to a voluntary and intentional decision not to have children. This includes biological children, stepchildren, and adopted children. It is distinct from being "childless," which usually refers to those who desire children but are unable to have them due to biological or circumstantial reasons.
The childfree movement gained significant traction in the late 20th century in Western nations such as the United States, France, and the United Kingdom. Historically, the movement was tied to the rise of feminism, the availability of reliable contraception, and a shift in the "social contract" where individuals began to seek fulfillment outside of traditional family roles. In the Indonesian context, the rise of this ideology is often linked to the "Generation Z" and "Millennial" cohorts who are facing unique economic pressures, including the "Sandwich Generation" phenomenon—where young adults must support both their parents and their own future families.
Demographic Data and Economic Implications
The debate over childfree lifestyles is not just a religious or personal issue; it has significant implications for Indonesia’s national future. According to data from the Central Bureau of Statistics (BPS), Indonesia is currently experiencing a gradual decline in its Total Fertility Rate (TFR). In the 1970s, the TFR was over 5.0; by 2022, it had dropped to approximately 2.1, which is considered the "replacement level" necessary to maintain a stable population.
While a TFR of 2.1 is generally healthy for a developing nation, the trend toward childfree lifestyles among the urban middle class raises concerns about a "population aging" crisis similar to those seen in Japan, South Korea, and parts of Europe. If a significant portion of the productive-age population chooses not to have children, the "demographic bonus"—the period where the working-age population outnumbers dependents—could turn into a "demographic disaster" as the ratio of elderly citizens to taxpayers increases.
Economically, the childfree choice is often framed as a response to the "cost of a child." Estimates suggest that raising a child in an urban center like Jakarta to the age of 18 can cost hundreds of millions, if not billions, of rupiah, depending on education and lifestyle standards. However, sociologists argue that the childfree movement in Indonesia is less about absolute poverty and more about "lifestyle maintenance" and the desire for career mobility in a highly competitive global economy.
Reactions from Related Parties
The Indonesian Ulema Council (MUI) has also touched upon this topic in various forums, generally aligning with the view that while Islam recognizes the difficulty of parenting, the wholesale rejection of parenthood as a lifestyle choice is inconsistent with Islamic values. However, some progressive Muslim thinkers have argued for a more nuanced approach, suggesting that for individuals with severe mental health issues or those who truly feel incapable of providing a safe environment for a child, the decision might be a form of "responsible stewardship."
On the other side of the spectrum, women’s rights advocates have emphasized that the pressure to procreate often falls disproportionately on women. They argue that the vitriol directed at influencers like Gitasav reflects a societal tendency to police women’s bodies and choices. They advocate for a middle ground where the choice to have children is celebrated, but the choice not to is respected as a matter of personal conscience.
Analysis: The Psychological and Social Impact
The "anti-aging" claim made by Gitasav, while perhaps intended as a lighthearted remark, points to a deeper psychological shift in how parenting is perceived. For many in the younger generation, parenting is viewed through the lens of "burnout" and "stress" rather than "legacy" or "fulfillment." This shift is exacerbated by social media, where the "aesthetic" of a carefree, childless life is often contrasted with the "chaos" of parenting.
Ustazah Tria’s response—"Many children are fun, you know"—aims to re-humanize the experience of parenthood. Her message suggests that the joys of family life cannot be quantified by botox or hours of sleep. From a sociological perspective, the childfree debate is a symptom of "liquid modernity," a term coined by Zygmunt Bauman to describe a society where traditional bonds are loosening, and individual gratification becomes the primary goal.
Broader Implications for Indonesian Society
The resolution of this debate will likely not come through a consensus but through a continued evolution of how Indonesian Muslims balance faith and modernity. The government, through the National Population and Family Planning Board (BKKBN), continues to promote the "Two Children are Enough" program, which seeks a balance between overpopulation and the risks of a declining birth rate.
As Indonesia moves toward its "Golden Indonesia 2045" vision, the role of the family remains a cornerstone of national stability. The theological critiques provided by figures like Ustazah Tria Meriza serve as a reminder of the cultural and religious foundations that many Indonesians still hold dear. At the same time, the viral nature of the childfree discourse indicates that the younger generation is increasingly willing to question traditional norms, requiring religious and community leaders to engage in more sophisticated, empathetic, and data-driven dialogues.
In conclusion, the childfree debate in Indonesia is a multifaceted issue involving religious doctrine, economic reality, and shifting social values. While the theological stance presented by Ustazah Tria provides a clear boundary for the Muslim faithful, the underlying reasons why young Indonesians are drawn to the childfree ideology—such as financial anxiety and the quest for personal identity—remain challenges that society at large must address. Whether through better economic support for families or a more inclusive understanding of modern pressures, the conversation started by a single social media comment has opened a window into the future of the Indonesian family structure.
