Hadi Wijaya
The ongoing national discourse surrounding the "childfree" lifestyle in Indonesia has gained renewed momentum following public statements made by influencer and YouTuber Gita Savitri Devi, known as Gitasav. Her assertion that remaining childless is a "natural anti-aging" method and that children can be a financial and emotional burden has sparked a wave of rebuttals from various sectors of society. Among the most prominent voices challenging this perspective is Rr. Sarwi Peni Wulandaru, a professional business coach popularly known as Coach Wulan. At 48 years old, Coach Wulan presents a lived experience that stands in direct opposition to the childfree narrative, balancing a prolific professional career with the upbringing of ten children.
Speaking in Yogyakarta, Coach Wulan shared her perspective on the compatibility of large families with personal and professional development. With her eldest child aged 18 and her youngest just one year old, she maintains an active role in various business ventures and high-level organizations without the assistance of domestic helpers. Her stance serves as a counter-argument to the idea that motherhood inherently limits a woman’s capacity to contribute to society or achieve personal milestones. According to Wulan, the presence of children does not serve as a barrier to expanding one’s intellectual capacity or career trajectory; rather, she views them as a catalyst for personal growth and a source of emotional resilience.
The Context of the Childfree Controversy in Indonesia
The debate reached a fever pitch in early February 2023 when Gitasav responded to a comment on social media suggesting she looked youthful. Her response, which attributed her appearance to not having children, was interpreted by many as a dismissal of the traditional family structure and an oversimplification of the challenges faced by parents. This sparked an intense polarization on Indonesian social media platforms, pitting proponents of individual autonomy and the "childfree" choice against those who uphold traditional, religious, and pro-natalist values.
For many in Indonesia, a country where family remains the central unit of social organization, the "childfree" movement is seen as a foreign import that clashes with local wisdom and religious teachings. Coach Wulan’s intervention into this debate is significant because it provides a practical template for how a woman can navigate the demands of a large family while remaining a leader in the business community. Her involvement in organizations such as the Association of Indonesian Muslim Intellectuals (ICMI), the Indonesian Chamber of Commerce and Industry (Kadin), and the Sharia Economic Society (MES) of the Special Region of Yogyakarta (DIY) underscores her point that motherhood and professional excellence are not mutually exclusive.
Challenging the Economic and Emotional "Burden" Argument
One of the primary pillars of the childfree argument is the economic cost of raising children. In an era of rising inflation and educational costs, many young couples view children as a financial liability. However, Coach Wulan challenges this materialist outlook by grounding her philosophy in spiritual conviction. She emphasizes the Islamic belief that every soul born into the world is accompanied by its own "rizq" or divine provision guaranteed by Allah SWT.
"I have ten children, and I am still active in business, organizations, and various activities," Wulan stated. "For me, children are a source of comfort in all situations. I believe in the principle that many children bring many blessings, much happiness, and many who pray for you."
This perspective shifts the focus from children as consumers of resources to children as sources of spiritual and emotional capital. Wulan argues that the "burden" perceived by some is often a matter of mindset and management rather than an inherent quality of parenthood. By operating without a domestic helper, she also demonstrates a high level of organizational skill and family synergy, suggesting that a well-structured household can thrive even with a large number of members.
Motherhood Through the Lens of Islamic Jurisprudence and Values
Coach Wulan further enriched the discussion by referencing the high status of women and mothers in Islam, providing a theological counter-narrative to certain interpretations of feminism that might view domestic roles as oppressive. She cited a well-known Hadith in which the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was asked who is most deserving of a person’s good companionship. The Prophet replied "your mother" three times before mentioning "your father."
"Why was ‘your mother’ mentioned three times? Because the Prophet truly understood that motherhood is a journey of immense struggle," Wulan explained. she detailed the physical and mental rigors of pregnancy, the life-threatening intensity of childbirth—which in Islamic tradition is equated to jihad if the mother passes away—and the long-term commitment of breastfeeding and nurturing.
From this viewpoint, the hardships associated with children are not "burdens" to be avoided, but rather sacred duties that elevate a woman’s status both in this world and the hereafter. By framing the struggles of motherhood as a form of spiritual striving, Wulan seeks to restore a sense of nobility to the parental role that she feels is being eroded by modern secular narratives.
Media Literacy and the Influence of Digital Personalities
A significant portion of Coach Wulan’s message was directed toward the millennial and Gen Z populations, who are the primary consumers of influencer content. She urged the younger generation to exercise critical thinking when following the opinions of social media figures. The danger, she noted, lies in the "unfiltered" adoption of lifestyles that may not align with one’s long-term spiritual or cultural well-being.
Values concerning what is "good" or "bad" are typically shaped by family, religion, environment, and media. Wulan argued that if the youth align their life goals with the teachings of the Al-Qur’an and Hadith, they will find success not only in the afterlife but also in their worldly affairs. She emphasized that the family unit plays a crucial role in insulating children from external influences that deviate from these core religious values.
"If young people begin to orient their obsessions toward the hereafter and their values toward obedience, and if their sources are the Al-Qur’an and Hadith, God willing, their path will be smooth," she remarked. This call for a return to scriptural foundations is a direct response to the perceived "liberalization" of lifestyle choices promoted by digital influencers who may prioritize individualistic satisfaction over communal and spiritual responsibilities.
Socio-Economic Implications of the Childfree Trend in Indonesia
From a broader perspective, the rise of the childfree movement in Indonesia carries significant demographic and economic implications. While Indonesia currently enjoys a "demographic dividend"—a period where the working-age population is larger than the dependent population—a widespread shift toward childlessness could eventually lead to a shrinking workforce and an aging population, similar to the crises currently faced by nations like Japan and South Korea.
According to data from the Statistics Indonesia (BPS), the Total Fertility Rate (TFR) in Indonesia has been steadily declining over the decades, reaching approximately 2.1 in recent years. While this is considered the "replacement level" necessary for a stable population, a cultural shift toward the childfree lifestyle among the middle and upper classes could accelerate this decline. Coach Wulan’s advocacy for large families, therefore, aligns with a pro-natalist stance that views a robust population as a vital national asset.
Furthermore, her example as a business coach highlights the "multiplier effect" of women in the workforce who also manage large households. Such individuals often develop superior time-management, leadership, and multitasking skills that are highly transferable to the corporate world. Her active participation in Kadin and the Sharia Economic Society suggests that the "traditional" role of a mother can be integrated with the "modern" role of an economic actor to create a holistic model of female empowerment.
Conclusion: Redefining Value and Success for the Modern Woman
In her closing remarks, Coach Wulan issued a challenge to women across Indonesia to never limit their potential or stop seeking knowledge. She asserted that the roles of a wife and a mother should not be viewed as the end of a woman’s personal development, but rather as a new chapter that can enhance her value.
"Being a mother and a wife will not hinder a woman from increasing her value," she concluded. Her life serves as a living testament to the idea that a woman can be a nurturer of ten children while simultaneously serving as a leader in her community and a mentor in the business world.
As the debate over the childfree lifestyle continues to evolve in the digital age, the discourse provided by figures like Coach Wulan offers an alternative path. It is a path that emphasizes the integration of career and family, the prioritization of spiritual legacy over individual convenience, and a firm belief that the challenges of the present are the investments for a more meaningful future. For the millennial generation caught between competing ideologies, Wulan’s message provides a grounded, faith-based perspective on the enduring value of the family unit.
