Hadi Wijaya
The ongoing national discourse regarding the "childfree" lifestyle in Indonesia has reached a new peak of public interest following controversial statements made by influencer Gita Savitri Devi, known as Gitasav. The Berlin-based YouTuber sparked a firestorm of debate by suggesting that remaining childless is a natural "anti-aging" remedy and that children represent a significant financial and emotional burden. However, this perspective has met strong opposition from various sectors of Indonesian society, most notably from Rr. Sarwi Peni Wulandaru, a prominent business mentor and community leader popularly known as Coach Wulan. Based in Yogyakarta, Coach Wulan provides a living counter-narrative to the idea that large families hinder professional growth or personal well-being. At 48 years old, she manages a household of ten children while maintaining a high-profile career in business coaching and organizational leadership, all without the assistance of domestic helpers.
Coach Wulan’s stance is rooted in the belief that motherhood and professional ambition are not mutually exclusive. Speaking in Yogyakarta, she emphasized that the presence of children, even in large numbers, does not necessitate the stagnation of a woman’s intellectual or career development. Her eldest child is 18 years old, while her youngest is just one year old, spanning nearly two decades of active parenting alongside her professional evolution. Her involvement in prestigious organizations such as the Indonesian Association of Muslim Intellectuals (ICMI), the Indonesian Chamber of Commerce and Industry (Kadin), and the Sharia Economic Society (MES) of the Special Region of Yogyakarta serves as a testament to her capacity to balance multifaceted roles. By sharing her journey, she aims to dispel the notion that children are an inherent obstacle to a woman’s self-actualization.
The Genesis of the Childfree Controversy in Indonesia
The debate surrounding the decision to remain childless, or "childfree," is not entirely new to the Indonesian digital landscape, but it gained unprecedented momentum in early 2023. Gita Savitri Devi, who has long been a vocal proponent of the lifestyle, responded to a comment on social media praising her youthful appearance by attributing it to the absence of children. She argued that not having children allows for better sleep, less stress, and more disposable income to afford cosmetic procedures like botox. This comment was perceived by many as a reductionist view of motherhood, leading to a polarized reaction across social media platforms.
Critics of the childfree movement in Indonesia often point to the cultural and religious fabric of the nation, where family is viewed as the cornerstone of society. The controversy highlights a growing tension between Western-centric individualist philosophies and traditional communal values. For influencers like Gitasav, the choice is one of personal autonomy and bodily sovereignty. For others, like Coach Wulan, the narrative presented by such influencers overlooks the profound spiritual and social rewards of raising the next generation. This clash of ideologies has prompted educators, religious leaders, and public officials to weigh in on the implications of a declining birth rate and the changing perception of the family unit.
A Profile in Resilience: Coach Wulan’s Daily Reality
The logistical feat of raising ten children without a maid or nanny is perhaps the most striking aspect of Coach Wulan’s story. In a modern urban setting where many families struggle to balance one or two children with their work schedules, her household management offers a unique case study in efficiency and mindset. She maintains that the absence of domestic help has not hindered her; rather, it has fostered a sense of cooperation and responsibility within the family. "I have 10 children, and I am still active in business, organizations, and various activities. I don’t have a helper either," she stated, challenging the assumption that a large family requires an army of support staff to function.
From a business perspective, Coach Wulan applies the same principles of mentorship and strategic planning to her home life as she does to her clients. She views her children not as liabilities, but as "coolers of the heart" (penyejuk hati) who provide emotional stability and motivation. Her philosophy is deeply intertwined with the traditional Indonesian adage, "Banyak anak, banyak rejeki" (Many children, many blessings/fortunes). While critics argue this is an outdated concept in an era of high inflation and education costs, Wulan maintains a firm belief in divine providence, asserting that every child is born with their own allocated sustenance (rezeki) from God.
Religious and Cultural Frameworks of Motherhood
Central to the pushback against the childfree narrative is the Islamic perspective on the status of women. Coach Wulan highlighted that in Islam, the role of a mother is elevated to the highest degree. She referenced a well-known Hadith where the Prophet Muhammad emphasized that a mother deserves three times more honor and devotion than a father. This elevation is not merely symbolic; it recognizes the physical and psychological rigors of pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding. "Why is ‘your mother’ mentioned three times? Because the Prophet truly understood that being a mother is a struggle," Wulan explained.
She further noted that the act of giving birth is often equated to jihad (a noble struggle), and the challenges of child-rearing are viewed as a path to spiritual growth. By framing motherhood in this light, Wulan and other community leaders seek to remind the younger generation that the "burden" described by influencers is, in their view, a sacred responsibility with eternal rewards. This religious grounding provides a powerful counter-argument in a country where approximately 87% of the population identifies as Muslim and where religious values significantly influence social norms and personal life choices.
Demographic Implications and the National Context
Beyond the personal and spiritual arguments, the childfree debate carries significant weight for Indonesia’s demographic future. The Indonesian government, through the National Population and Family Planning Board (BKKBN), has expressed concern regarding the potential long-term effects of a widespread childfree trend. While Indonesia is currently benefiting from a "demographic bonus"—a period where the working-age population outnumbers dependents—a sharp decline in birth rates could eventually lead to an aging population crisis similar to those faced by Japan, South Korea, and parts of Europe.
According to data from the World Bank and the Indonesian Central Bureau of Statistics (BPS), Indonesia’s Total Fertility Rate (TFR) has seen a steady decline over the decades, moving from 5.6 in the 1970s to approximately 2.18 in recent years. While this decline was initially a goal of family planning programs to ensure sustainable growth, a shift toward zero-birth preferences among the urban middle class could push the TFR below replacement levels. This would have profound implications for the labor market, social security systems, and the government’s "Golden Indonesia 2045" vision, which relies on a productive and vibrant youth population to propel the country into the world’s top five economies.
The Role of Social Media and Influencer Responsibility
Coach Wulan’s critique extends to the influence of digital personalities on the values of Millennials and Generation Z. She urged young people to be more discerning in their consumption of social media content, warning against the "raw acceptance" of views that may not align with their own cultural or religious foundations. In her view, values are often shaped by a combination of family, religion, environment, and media. However, when media influence—particularly from charismatic influencers—becomes disproportionately strong, it can lead to a disconnect from foundational values.
"If young people’s obsession is directed toward the hereafter and their value is obedience, and if the source is the Quran and Hadith, God willing, their path will be smooth," Wulan remarked. She emphasized the critical role of the family unit in acting as a filter against external influences that might contradict traditional teachings. For Wulan, the family is the primary institution for character building, and the erosion of the family unit through the childfree movement could have cascading effects on the moral fabric of society.
Analyzing the Impact: Empowerment vs. Limitation
The discourse between the childfree movement and proponents of traditional family structures often boils down to differing definitions of female empowerment. For the childfree movement, empowerment is the freedom to choose a life path that prioritizes personal career goals, travel, and self-care without the demands of parenting. For individuals like Coach Wulan, empowerment is the ability to integrate motherhood into a life of broad social and professional contribution.
Psychological studies often suggest that the "burden" of parenting is highly subjective and influenced by the level of social support and the internal mindset of the parent. While Gitasav highlights the stressors, Wulan highlights the resilience and fulfillment found in the process. The debate also touches upon the "mental load" of motherhood; Wulan’s ability to manage ten children without help is an outlier, but she uses it as a radical example to show that the limits women often feel are more psychological or societal than absolute.
Conclusion and Future Outlook
The conversation ignited by Gitasav and countered by figures like Coach Wulan reflects a maturing society grappling with modern identity. As Indonesia continues to urbanize and its economy evolves, the tension between individual lifestyle choices and traditional communal expectations is likely to persist. Coach Wulan’s message to the women of Indonesia is one of boundless potential: she encourages them not to limit themselves or stop learning. Being a wife and a mother, in her view, should be seen as a value-add to a woman’s life rather than a subtraction from her potential.
As the "childfree" topic continues to trend, it serves as a catalyst for a deeper examination of what it means to be a modern Indonesian woman. Whether through the lens of secular feminism or religious tradition, the debate underscores the importance of choice, the value of support systems, and the need for a balanced national dialogue on the future of the Indonesian family. For Coach Wulan, the answer remains clear: the rewards of a large, vibrant family are worth every effort, and the capacity of a woman to lead, earn, and nurture is limited only by the boundaries she sets for herself.
