Hadi Wijaya
The decision to remain childless, a lifestyle choice commonly referred to as "childfree," has recently surged to the forefront of Indonesian public discourse, sparking intense debate across social media platforms and traditional news outlets alike. While the concept of choosing not to have children is far from new, its emergence as a visible and vocal movement in Indonesia marks a significant shift in the country’s socio-cultural landscape. This phenomenon was recently amplified by the statements of high-profile influencer Gita Savitri, known as Gitasav, whose comments regarding the perceived benefits of a childfree lifestyle—including its role as a "natural anti-aging" factor—triggered a massive wave of reactions from the public, religious leaders, and psychological experts.
The controversy surrounding Gita Savitri serves as a catalyst for a deeper examination of how Indonesian society views family, womanhood, and personal autonomy. Historically, individuals who harbored the desire to remain childfree often did so in silence, fearing the severe social repercussions, ostracization, or familial pressure that accompanies deviating from the traditional path of parenthood. However, as digital connectivity increases and global perspectives permeate local culture, more Indonesians are finding the courage to express these unconventional life choices openly. According to Nuzulia Rahma Tristinarum, a family psychologist and practitioner, this newfound openness is a relatively recent development in the Indonesian context, where the expectation to procreate is deeply rooted in both cultural heritage and religious interpretation.
The Psychological Framework of the Childfree Decision
In addressing the growing discourse, Nuzulia Rahma Tristinarum, often referred to as Lia, emphasizes that the decision to be childfree is multifaceted and should not be made impulsively. As a counselor, trainer, and author, Lia suggests that individuals considering this path must weigh their decision against two critical pillars: religious alignment and the ethics of communication.
The first pillar involves a rigorous analysis of one’s religious beliefs. In Indonesia, a nation where religion plays a central role in both private life and public policy, any major life decision is inevitably viewed through a theological lens. Lia notes that for believers, every decision is tied to the "rules of God" and the perceived purpose of human existence. Most major religions practiced in Indonesia, particularly Islam, place a high value on the continuation of the lineage and the upbringing of a righteous generation. Therefore, Lia advises those considering a childfree life to look deeper into their spiritual foundations to ensure their choice aligns with their personal faith and conscience, rather than being a reactionary response to temporary social trends.
The second pillar focuses on the social manifestation of this choice. Lia highlights that if an individual holds childfree values, there is no inherent need to present those values in a manner that is confrontational or disparaging toward others. The psychological impact of the childfree debate often turns toxic when proponents of the lifestyle appear to claim moral or intellectual superiority over those who choose to have children. Lia advocates for a "way of goodness"—expressing decisions without insults and without feeling better than parents. This perspective is crucial in maintaining social harmony in a collectivist society like Indonesia, where the community’s well-being is often prioritized over individual expression.
Socio-Economic Factors and the Changing Indonesian Family
To understand why the childfree movement is gaining traction now, one must look at the shifting demographic and economic data in Indonesia. For decades, the Indonesian government, through the National Population and Family Planning Board (BKKBN), promoted the slogan "Dua Anak Lebih Sehat" (Two Children is Healthier) to curb overpopulation. However, the modern shift toward "zero children" is driven by factors beyond government policy.
Data from Statistics Indonesia (BPS) indicates a steady decline in the Total Fertility Rate (TFR) over the past several decades. In the 1970s, the TFR was approximately 5.6, meaning the average woman would have five to six children. By 2022, that number had dropped to approximately 2.1, which is considered the replacement level. While this decline is largely attributed to better access to education and contraception, the emergence of the "childfree" identity represents a more radical departure from the norm.
Economic pressures play a significant role in this shift. The rising cost of living, particularly in urban centers like Jakarta, Surabaya, and Bandung, has made the financial burden of child-rearing a daunting prospect. Many young Indonesians find themselves as part of the "sandwich generation," a term used to describe individuals who must simultaneously support their aging parents and their own children. For some, the prospect of adding the financial and emotional weight of a new generation to these existing responsibilities is perceived as unsustainable.
Furthermore, the pursuit of higher education and career advancement among women has shifted the timeline of marriage and childbirth. As more women enter the workforce and achieve financial independence, the "necessity" of marriage and motherhood as a means of social security has diminished. For these women, the decision to be childfree is often framed as a reclamation of autonomy and a way to prioritize personal growth, mental health, and professional contributions.
Chronology of the Recent Discourse
The timeline of the current childfree debate in Indonesia can be traced back several years, but it reached a boiling point in early 2023. Gita Savitri, an Indonesian influencer living in Germany, has been vocal about her choice to be childfree for some time. However, the situation escalated when she responded to a comment on Instagram praising her youthful appearance. Her reply, which suggested that not having children allowed her to sleep more and avoid the stress that causes wrinkles, was interpreted by many as an attack on mothers.
The backlash was immediate. Within days, the term "childfree" was trending on X (formerly Twitter) and TikTok in Indonesia. Critics argued that her comments were insensitive to those struggling with infertility and that they devalued the "kodrat" (natural destiny) of women. Conversely, supporters argued that she was simply stating her personal experience and that the vitriol directed at her was a symptom of a patriarchal society that cannot accept women who reject motherhood.
Following the viral incident, various public figures and experts were called upon to provide context. Religious scholars from the Indonesian Ulema Council (MUI) and other organizations issued statements reminding the public of the virtues of parenthood in Islam, while also acknowledging that the decision to delay or forgo children is a complex matter of personal jurisprudence. It was in this climate of heated rhetoric that experts like Nuzulia Rahma Tristinarum stepped in to provide a psychological and balanced perspective, urging for a move away from "insults" and toward "analysis."
Global Context and Demographic Implications
Indonesia is not alone in facing this shift. Across East Asia, countries like South Korea, Japan, and Singapore are grappling with record-low birth rates that threaten their long-term economic stability. While Indonesia is still benefiting from a "demographic dividend"—a large working-age population—the rise of the childfree movement suggests that the country may eventually face similar challenges.
The psychological impact of being childfree in a pro-natalist society cannot be understated. Those who choose this path often report feelings of isolation or "otherness." In Indonesia, social gatherings and holiday celebrations, such as Lebaran, frequently revolve around children and family milestones. For childfree individuals, these events can become minefields of intrusive questions and judgment. This social pressure is what Lia refers to when she mentions the "fear of social consequences" that historically kept people silent.
From a factual analysis standpoint, the rise of the childfree lifestyle may lead to several long-term implications for Indonesia:
- Economic Shifts: A potential decrease in future consumer markets and a shrinking labor force if the trend becomes widespread.
- Mental Health Awareness: An increased focus on "parental burnout" and the recognition that not everyone is psychologically suited for the demands of parenting.
- Redefinition of Family: A shift toward "chosen families" and a broadening of the definition of what constitutes a successful and fulfilling life.
- Policy Adjustments: The government may eventually need to shift from population control to pro-natalist incentives, as seen in neighboring countries, to encourage young couples to have children.
The Role of Digital Discourse
The role of social media in this debate is dual-edged. On one hand, it provides a platform for marginalized voices and allows individuals to find communities of like-minded people, reducing the sense of isolation. On the other hand, the nature of social media algorithms tends to reward provocative statements and "hot takes," which can polarize the conversation and lead to the "hateful" communication Lia warned against.
The "Gitasav effect" demonstrated that the Indonesian digital public is highly sensitive to issues involving traditional values. However, it also showed that there is a significant portion of the younger generation that is willing to question these values. The debate has moved beyond a single influencer and has become a broader conversation about what it means to be a woman, a citizen, and a person of faith in the 21st century.
Conclusion: Toward a More Respectful Dialogue
As the dust settles on the recent controversy, the insights provided by practitioners like Nuzulia Rahma Tristinarum offer a roadmap for a more constructive dialogue. The decision to be childfree, while controversial to some, is a deeply personal one that is often the result of years of reflection on financial, psychological, and spiritual factors.
The core of the issue lies not in the choice itself, but in how that choice is communicated and perceived within the social fabric. As Lia noted, there are both positive and negative impacts to the childfree lifestyle, but these are subjective and highly dependent on an individual’s belief system and life goals. For Indonesia to navigate this demographic shift successfully, there must be a space for diverse life paths to coexist without the need for mutual disparagement.
In a country as diverse as Indonesia, the ability to discuss taboo subjects with maturity and empathy is a sign of a developing social consciousness. Whether the childfree trend continues to grow or remains a niche lifestyle choice, it has undeniably opened a door to a more nuanced understanding of family planning and personal autonomy in the modern era. The challenge for the future will be to ensure that the "rules of God" and the "way of goodness" are integrated into a society that is rapidly changing, yet still deeply connected to its traditional roots.
