Hadi Wijaya
The discourse surrounding the decision to remain childfree has gained significant momentum in Indonesia, transitioning from a private lifestyle choice to a widely debated public issue. This shift was largely catalyzed by the viral comments of influencer Gita Savitri Devi, known as Gitasav, whose assertions regarding the link between a childfree lifestyle and youthful appearance sparked a national conversation. While the concept of choosing not to have children is not a novel phenomenon, the boldness with which individuals are now articulating this choice marks a departure from traditional social norms. Family psychologist Nuzulia Rahma Tristinarum, often referred to as Lia, suggests that while the decision is personal, it requires deep consideration of religious values and social communication strategies to avoid unnecessary friction within the community.
The Gitasav Controversy: A Chronology of Public Discourse
The recent surge in public interest regarding the childfree lifestyle can be traced back to early February 2023. During a social media interaction, Gita Savitri Devi responded to a compliment about her youthful appearance by suggesting that not having children was a natural "anti-aging" remedy. She argued that the absence of the stress associated with child-rearing, combined with the ability to maintain consistent sleep patterns and afford high-end skincare, contributed to her aesthetic.
This statement immediately ignited a firestorm across various social media platforms, including Twitter (now X), Instagram, and TikTok. Critics argued that her comments were dismissive of the joys of motherhood and insensitive to those struggling with infertility. Conversely, a segment of the younger generation defended her right to autonomy, highlighting the financial and psychological pressures of modern parenting.
By mid-February 2023, the conversation had evolved beyond a single influencer’s comment into a broader sociological debate. Media outlets, religious leaders, and mental health professionals began weighing in on the implications of a "childfree" Indonesia. It was during this period that Nuzulia Rahma Tristinarum provided her expert analysis, emphasizing that the courage to speak openly about such choices is a relatively new development in Indonesian society, where procreation has historically been viewed as a fundamental social and religious duty.
Expert Guidance: Two Pillars of Decision-Making
In navigating the complexities of the childfree choice, Nuzulia Rahma Tristinarum identifies two critical areas that individuals must evaluate before finalizing their decision. As a practitioner, trainer, and author specializing in family psychology, Lia emphasizes that these considerations are essential for long-term psychological well-being and social harmony.
1. Theological and Religious Reflection
In the Indonesian context, where the first principle of the state ideology, Pancasila, emphasizes "Belief in the One and Only God," religion plays a central role in individual decision-making. Lia advises women and couples to analyze their choice through the lens of their respective faiths. Most major religions practiced in Indonesia view children as a blessing and a responsibility. For many, the mandate to procreate is seen as a divine instruction or a way to ensure the continuation of the faith community.
Lia suggests that individuals must look inward and determine if their decision aligns with their spiritual convictions. "Every decision taken by a religious person is bound by the rules of God," she noted. Failing to reconcile a lifestyle choice with one’s core religious values can lead to "moral injury" or internal conflict later in life, especially as one faces the aging process without the traditional support system of offspring.
2. Communication and Social Etiquette
The second pillar involves the manner in which the choice is communicated to the public. Lia points out that holding a specific value or lifestyle preference does not necessitate an antagonistic stance toward those who choose a different path. The psychologist warns against "superiority complexes" where those who choose to be childfree look down on parents, or vice versa.
The friction in the Gitasav case, Lia argues, was not necessarily the choice itself, but the perceived tone of the delivery. To maintain social cohesion, it is better to convey the decision with grace and respect. Avoidance of derogatory language or implying that one lifestyle is objectively "better" or "smarter" than the other is crucial. In a communal society like Indonesia, maintaining "silaturahmi" (social ties) is often valued above individual expression, making the "how" of the announcement just as important as the "what."
The Demographic Context: Declining Birth Rates and Shifting Values
The childfree trend is not occurring in a vacuum; it is reflected in broader demographic data. According to the Indonesian Central Bureau of Statistics (BPS), the Total Fertility Rate (TFR) in Indonesia has seen a steady decline over the last several decades. In the 1970s, the TFR was approximately 5.6, meaning a woman would have an average of five to six children. By 2022, that number had dropped to approximately 2.1, which is the "replacement level" necessary to keep a population stable.
While the decline is partly attributed to successful family planning (KB) programs and increased access to education for women, the emergence of a deliberate "childfree" identity represents a new variable. Data from various digital surveys indicate that the primary motivations for choosing a childfree life among Indonesians include:
- Financial Stability: The rising cost of education, healthcare, and housing makes the prospect of raising a child daunting for middle-class urbanites.
- Mental Health Concerns: A growing awareness of intergenerational trauma and the psychological demands of parenting leads some to believe they are not equipped to provide a healthy environment for a child.
- Environmental Impact: Some individuals cite overpopulation and climate change as ethical reasons to refrain from bringing more people into the world.
- Career Ambition: As more women enter the workforce and pursue high-level careers, the "motherhood penalty"—the loss of career momentum after having children—becomes a significant deterrent.
Comparative Global Perspectives
Indonesia is not alone in this shift. In neighboring East Asian countries, the childfree movement has reached a point of national crisis. South Korea currently holds the world’s lowest fertility rate, dropping below 0.8. Japan and China are also facing "silver tsunamis," where an aging population is not being replaced by a younger workforce, leading to severe economic strain and the potential collapse of pension systems.
Indonesian policymakers are watching these trends with concern. The government’s vision of "Indonesia Emas 2045" (Golden Indonesia 2045) relies on a "demographic dividend," where the working-age population outnumbers the elderly and children. If the childfree trend grows exponentially among the productive age group, the projected economic boom could be stifled by a shrinking labor force and an increased dependency ratio.
Social and Institutional Reactions
The reaction from Indonesian institutions has been a mix of concern and calls for moderation. The Indonesian Ulema Council (MUI) and various Christian, Hindu, and Buddhist organizations have largely reiterated the importance of family as the bedrock of society. Some religious scholars have stated that while there is no explicit "punishment" for not having children in some interpretations, the intention behind the choice matters. If the choice is rooted in a fear of poverty, it may conflict with certain theological teachings regarding divine providence.
On the other side of the spectrum, women’s rights advocates argue that the obsession with a woman’s "utility" as a mother is a form of patriarchal control. They posit that a woman’s value should not be tied to her reproductive capabilities. This ideological tug-of-war has created a polarized digital landscape where both sides often retreat into echo chambers.
Psychological and Practical Implications
From a psychological standpoint, Nuzulia Rahma Tristinarum notes that every choice has its set of consequences. The "positive" aspects of being childfree often cited include more leisure time, financial flexibility, and less domestic stress. However, the "negative" aspects may include social isolation in old age and the potential for regret if the decision was made impulsively or based on temporary trends.
Lia emphasizes that perception is the ultimate arbiter of whether these impacts are felt as positive or negative. For a person with a strong career focus and a supportive social circle of peers, the lack of children may never be felt as a loss. However, for someone who deeply values traditional family structures, the same choice could lead to a sense of emptiness.
Conclusion: Toward a More Nuanced Dialogue
The childfree debate in Indonesia serves as a mirror reflecting the country’s transition from a traditional agrarian society to a modern, urbanized nation. As individuals like Gita Savitri Devi continue to challenge long-standing norms, the role of experts like Nuzulia Rahma Tristinarum becomes vital in grounding the conversation in psychological and ethical reality.
The future of the childfree movement in Indonesia will likely depend on how the state and society address the underlying reasons for the choice. If the trend is driven by economic hardship and a lack of support for working mothers, then policy interventions—such as better childcare subsidies and workplace flexibility—may shift the needle. However, if it is a fundamental shift in personal values and autonomy, then Indonesia must prepare for a future where the traditional family unit is no longer the sole standard of a life well-lived. Regardless of the path chosen, the psychologist’s advice remains paramount: decisions of such magnitude require a deep alignment with one’s faith and a commitment to communicating one’s truth without diminishing the choices of others.
