Hadi Wijaya
The discourse surrounding the "childfree" lifestyle has resurfaced in the Indonesian public sphere, sparking a rigorous debate regarding the intersection of modern lifestyle choices, social media influence, and traditional religious doctrines. This latest wave of discussion was catalyzed by comments from prominent social media influencer and YouTuber Gita Savitri, known as Gitasav, who suggested that a child-free lifestyle serves as a natural "anti-aging" remedy. The statement, which quickly went viral, prompted a significant response from various community leaders, including Ustazah Tria Meriza, the founder of @sekolahmuslimah.bahagia. Meriza has articulated a firm theological stance, asserting that for Muslim couples, the adoption of a childfree ideology is considered prohibited (haram) based on several fundamental tenets of Islamic law and worldview.
The childfree movement, which refers to the voluntary decision to not have children—including biological, step, or adopted children—is not a new concept globally, though its prominence in Indonesia has grown alongside the rise of digital connectivity and the influence of Western liberal ideologies. According to historical records, the term "childfree" gained traction in the late 20th century in Western nations such as the United States, France, and the United Kingdom. It was initially framed as a push for reproductive autonomy and a rejection of the traditional expectation that marriage must inevitably lead to parenthood. In the Indonesian context, however, this ideology often clashes with deeply rooted cultural and religious values that view children as both a blessing and a social responsibility.
The Theological Counter-Arguments
Ustazah Tria Meriza, through a series of public communications on her social media platforms, outlined four primary reasons why the childfree ideology is incompatible with Islamic principles. Her critique begins with the origin of the concept itself. Meriza argues that the childfree idea is a product of Western secularism, a worldview that seeks to decouple religious guidance from the practicalities of daily life and family structures. In this framework, decisions are often made based on the principle of individual utility or personal benefit rather than the divine concepts of "halal" (permissible) and "haram" (forbidden). Meriza emphasizes that for a Muslim, the foundation of any life choice must be rooted in Sharia, which provides a comprehensive guide for family life that transcends mere material or physical convenience.
The second point of contention involves the psychological and spiritual motivations behind the choice to remain childless, specifically the fear of financial instability. Many proponents of the childfree lifestyle cite the high cost of living and the expense of raising children as a primary deterrent. Meriza posits that this mindset directly contradicts the Islamic creed (aqidah). In Islamic theology, it is a core belief that Allah is the "Ar-Razzaq" (The Provider) and has guaranteed the sustenance (rizq) of every living creature. To opt out of parenthood solely due to financial anxiety is seen as a lack of tawakkul (trust in God) and a denial of the divine promise to provide for families.
Thirdly, the childfree ideology is viewed as being in direct opposition to the fundamental purpose of marriage in Islam. Religious scholars frequently cite the Quran, specifically Surah An-Nahl, Verse 72, which states: "And Allah has made for you from yourselves mates and has made for you from your mates sons and grandchildren and has provided for you from the good things." Meriza argues that the syariat (Islamic law) establishes marriage as a vehicle for procreation and the continuation of the human race. By intentionally choosing to never have children, a couple is seen as circumventing one of the primary objectives of the marital bond as defined by religious texts.
Finally, Meriza highlights that Islam actively encourages its followers to have many children. This is based on various Sahih (authentic) Hadiths, including one narrated by Abu Daud, An-Nasa’i, and Ahmad, where the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) expressed his desire for his followers to marry women who are "affectionate and fertile." The Prophet stated, "For indeed, I will boast of your great numbers before the other nations on the Day of Resurrection." From this perspective, having a large family is not just a personal preference but a contribution to the strength and longevity of the Muslim community (Ummah). Meriza concludes her assessment by reminding her audience that despite the challenges, raising children is a source of joy and spiritual merit, urging the public to be cautious of ideologies that stand in contrast to these traditional values.
The Chronology of the Debate and Public Reaction
The current controversy involving Gita Savitri is not the first time the influencer has faced backlash for her stance on child-free living. However, the intensity of the reaction in February 2023 was amplified by the specific claim that not having children is a secret to maintaining a youthful appearance. Savitri’s comment—suggesting that the absence of children results in less stress and more sleep, leading to natural anti-aging—was perceived by many as an oversimplification of the complexities of motherhood and an indirect critique of those who choose to have children.
The reaction across Indonesian social media was swift and divided. While a segment of the younger, urban population defended the right to individual choice and body autonomy, a vast majority of the public, including religious figures, celebrities, and parenting influencers, expressed disagreement. Critics argued that the "anti-aging" argument reduced the profound experience of parenthood to a cosmetic concern. This sparked a broader national conversation about the demographic future of Indonesia and the role of the family unit in national stability.
The Indonesian Ulema Council (MUI) has also previously weighed in on similar issues, generally maintaining that while family planning (KB) is permissible for the sake of health or well-being, the wholesale adoption of a "childfree" ideology—the intent to never have children under any circumstances—is inconsistent with the goals of Islamic law (Maqasid al-Sharia). The MUI emphasizes that the preservation of progeny (hifz al-nasl) is one of the five essential elements that Sharia seeks to protect.
Sociological and Demographic Context
To understand why the childfree debate has gained such traction in Indonesia, it is necessary to look at the shifting demographic data and sociological trends. According to the Indonesian Central Bureau of Statistics (BPS), the Total Fertility Rate (TFR) in Indonesia has seen a steady decline over the past several decades. In the 1970s, the TFR was over 5.0, meaning the average woman had five children. By 2022, that number had dropped to approximately 2.1, which is considered the replacement level.
While the decline in birth rates is often attributed to successful government family planning programs and increased access to education for women, the emergence of a voluntary childfree movement represents a different sociological shift. Unlike family planning, which focuses on spacing births and limiting family size for economic or health reasons, the childfree movement is an ideological shift toward individualism.
Sociologists point to several factors driving this trend among the Indonesian middle class:
- Economic Pressures: The rising cost of education, healthcare, and housing in urban centers like Jakarta makes the financial commitment of child-rearing seem daunting.
- Career Aspirations: Many women fear the "motherhood penalty" in the workplace, where having children can lead to stalled career progression or decreased earnings.
- Psychological Readiness: A growing awareness of mental health and "generational trauma" has led some young Indonesians to opt out of parenthood because they feel emotionally unequipped to raise children in a healthy environment.
- Environmental Concerns: A smaller segment of the population cites global overpopulation and climate change as ethical reasons to refrain from bringing more people into the world.
Broader Implications for Indonesia’s Future
The rise of the childfree discourse has implications that extend beyond religious and personal choice, touching upon the future of Indonesia’s "Golden Generation 2045" vision. Indonesia is currently experiencing a "demographic dividend," where the working-age population outnumbers the dependent population (children and the elderly). This dividend is a key driver of economic growth. However, if the childfree lifestyle were to become a widespread cultural norm, Indonesia could face a demographic crisis similar to those currently seen in Japan, South Korea, and parts of Europe.
A shrinking birth rate leads to an aging population, which places an immense burden on the healthcare system and reduces the size of the future workforce. From a state perspective, the family is the smallest unit of social stability. When the formation of families is disrupted by a refusal to procreate, it can lead to long-term shifts in social security structures and economic productivity.
Furthermore, the debate highlights the ongoing tension between traditional Indonesian values and globalized liberal norms. As digital platforms continue to bridge the gap between Western lifestyles and Indonesian society, the "childfree" debate serves as a microcosm of a larger cultural negotiation. It forces a confrontation between the "me-centric" philosophy of modern individualism and the "we-centric" philosophy of traditional and religious collectivism.
In conclusion, while the childfree choice remains a minority practice in Indonesia, its vocal presence on social media has necessitated a robust response from religious and social leaders. Figures like Ustazah Tria Meriza serve to reinforce traditional Islamic perspectives, framing the issue not just as a lifestyle choice but as a spiritual and communal obligation. As Indonesia navigates its path toward modernization, the balance between individual autonomy and the preservation of long-standing religious and social values remains a central point of national deliberation. The ongoing discussion underscores the need for a nuanced understanding of why individuals might feel hesitant about parenthood, while also reaffirming the cultural and religious importance of the family unit in Indonesian society.
