Hadi Wijaya
The discourse surrounding the "childfree" lifestyle—a choice to not have children—has recently surged in Indonesian public conversation, sparked largely by provocative statements from prominent influencers. Among the most vocal critics of the notion that children are a biological or financial burden is Rr. Sarwi Peni Wulandaru, a professional business coach and community leader better known as Coach Wulan. At 48 years of age, Coach Wulan presents a lifestyle that directly contradicts the narrative that large families preclude professional success or personal well-being. As a mother of ten children ranging in age from one to 18 years old, she maintains an active career in business coaching, organizational leadership, and various social activities, all while managing her household without the assistance of domestic helpers. Her stance serves as a significant counter-narrative to the "childfree" movement, which has gained traction among certain segments of Indonesia’s millennial and Gen Z populations.
The debate reached a fever pitch following comments by Germany-based Indonesian influencer Gita Savitri Devi, known as Gitasav, who suggested that not having children is a natural "anti-aging" remedy and that children represent a significant stressor. In response, Coach Wulan shared her lived experience with Republika.co.id, emphasizing that the presence of children has never served as a barrier to her intellectual or professional development. Instead, she argues that the capacity of a woman to grow her career and expand her knowledge is not dictated by her maternal status but by her mindset and organizational discipline. By balancing a household of ten children with high-level roles in the Association of Indonesian Muslim Intellectuals (ICMI), the Indonesian Chamber of Commerce and Industry (Kadin), and the Sharia Economic Society (MES) of Yogyakarta, Coach Wulan positions herself as a living testament to the compatibility of motherhood and professional ambition.
The Context of the Childfree Debate in Indonesia
The "childfree" phenomenon is not new globally, but its emergence as a mainstream topic in Indonesia has highlighted a growing cultural rift. On one side, influencers like Gita Savitri argue for individual autonomy, citing environmental concerns, financial stability, and mental health as valid reasons to forgo parenthood. On the other side, traditional and religious figures argue that the childfree ideology is an import of Western individualism that contradicts Indonesian social fabric and religious tenets.
The controversy intensified when Savitri responded to a compliment about her youthful appearance by attributing it to being childfree, stating that the absence of children allows for better sleep and less stress, which in turn prevents aging. This sparked a nationwide conversation involving celebrities, health experts, and religious leaders. Coach Wulan’s intervention is particularly notable because it shifts the focus from theoretical debate to practical application. Her argument is rooted in the belief that children are "penyejuk hati" (coolers of the heart) who provide emotional support and spiritual fulfillment that outweighs the physical demands of parenting.
Socio-Economic Implications and the Demographic Dividend
From a broader perspective, the childfree debate carries significant weight regarding Indonesia’s future. The Indonesian government, through the National Population and Family Planning Board (BKKBN), has expressed concerns that a widespread shift toward childfree lifestyles could impact the nation’s "Demographic Dividend." This dividend refers to the economic growth potential that results from shifts in a population’s age structure, specifically when the working-age population is larger than the non-working-age population.
According to data from the Indonesian Central Bureau of Statistics (BPS), Indonesia’s Total Fertility Rate (TFR) has seen a steady decline over the decades, moving toward the replacement level of 2.1. While the government previously focused on "Dua Anak Cukup" (Two Children is Enough) to curb overpopulation, the current concern in many developed Asian nations—such as Japan, South Korea, and Singapore—is the "demographic collapse" caused by ultra-low birth rates. Coach Wulan’s perspective aligns with the traditional view that "banyak anak, banyak rejeki" (many children, much fortune), a philosophy she frames within a modern context. She asserts that financial concerns regarding children are often overstated because, in her religious view, every soul is born with its own divinely ordained provision (rezeki).
Theological Foundations and the Status of Mothers
A central pillar of Coach Wulan’s rebuttal is the Islamic perspective on motherhood. She points to the high status accorded to women in Islam, referencing the well-known Hadith where the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) emphasized that a mother deserves three times more honor and devotion than a father. This elevated status, she explains, is a direct recognition of the immense physical and mental sacrifices inherent in motherhood: pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding.
Coach Wulan notes that in Islamic tradition, the act of giving birth is so significant that a woman who passes away during childbirth is considered a "shuhada" (martyr), equated with the spiritual merit of jihad. By highlighting these values, she seeks to reframe the "burden" of motherhood as a noble struggle that yields spiritual and social dividends. She argues that the modern feminist critique of motherhood often overlooks the inherent dignity and empowerment found in these roles. For Wulan, being a wife and mother does not diminish a woman’s value; rather, it provides a unique platform for character building and societal contribution.
The Role of Digital Literacy and Family Values
In an era dominated by social media algorithms, Coach Wulan expressed concern over how easily younger generations can be influenced by the personal opinions of digital creators. She urged millennials and Gen Z to exercise greater discernment and not to "swallow raw" the perspectives of influencers who may not share the same cultural or religious foundations.
The business coach emphasized that values—what a society deems good or bad—are typically absorbed from family, religion, and the environment. She warned that if the media becomes the primary source of moral guidance, it can lead to a disconnect from traditional and spiritual roots. "If everything is oriented toward the Al-Qur’an, then not only the affairs of the hereafter but also the affairs of the world will be achieved," she stated. This perspective emphasizes the role of the family unit as the first line of defense against external influences that might deviate from religious and traditional norms.
Practical Realities: Parenting Without Domestic Help
One of the most striking aspects of Coach Wulan’s testimony is her revelation that she manages her large household without domestic workers. In the context of the Indonesian middle and upper-middle class, where live-in maids and nannies are common, her choice to handle domestic duties personally while maintaining a professional career is an outlier. This detail serves to dismantle the argument that a large family necessitates an overwhelming amount of external labor or that it leaves a woman with no time for herself.
Her approach suggests a high level of time management and the involvement of the children themselves in the household ecosystem. By involving older children in the care of younger siblings and the maintenance of the home, such families often foster a sense of responsibility and communal living that is becoming rarer in nuclear, urban households. Coach Wulan’s life suggests that the "stress" cited by childfree advocates can be mitigated through organized systems and a supportive family culture rather than the total avoidance of parenthood.
Analysis of the Cultural Shift
The tension between Coach Wulan’s lifestyle and the childfree movement represents a broader cultural tug-of-war in Indonesia. On one hand, there is an increasing desire for individual career fulfillment, travel, and financial freedom. On the other, there is the enduring value of the extended family and the religious belief in the sanctity of life.
Market research and sociological studies in Indonesia suggest that while the "childfree" choice remains a minority view, the age of first-time marriage is rising, and the desired number of children per household is shrinking. This is particularly true in urban centers like Jakarta and Yogyakarta, where the cost of living and the demands of the modern workforce are highest. Coach Wulan’s message is a call to return to a balance where professional ambition and large families are not seen as mutually exclusive.
Conclusion and Future Outlook
The debate sparked by Gitasav and countered by figures like Coach Wulan is likely to continue as Indonesia navigates its path toward becoming a top-five global economy by 2045. The "Golden Indonesia 2045" vision relies heavily on the quality of the next generation, making the current discourse on parenting and family values a matter of national importance.
Coach Wulan’s final message to women is one of self-actualization: "Do not limit yourselves; continue to learn." She maintains that the roles of mother and wife are not shackles but are instead compatible with a life of high achievement and social impact. As the millennial generation moves into their peak parenting years, the choice between the "childfree" path and the "many children, many blessings" path will shape the demographic and social landscape of Indonesia for decades to come. By centering the conversation on spiritual obedience and the "rezeki" of children, Coach Wulan provides a traditional yet professionally integrated alternative to the modern secular narrative of family life.
