Hadi Wijaya
The discourse surrounding the decision to remain childfree—voluntarily choosing not to have children—has transitioned from a private domestic choice to a polarizing public debate in Indonesia. This shift was significantly accelerated by recent statements from social media influencer Gita Savitri, commonly known as Gitasav, whose comments regarding the perceived benefits of a childfree lifestyle sparked a nationwide conversation. While the concept of being childfree is not a new phenomenon, its emergence in the public sphere has prompted experts, religious leaders, and the general public to weigh in on the psychological, spiritual, and demographic implications of such a choice.
Nuzulia Rahma Tristinarum, a prominent family psychologist, counselor, and author, has emphasized that while the decision to remain childfree has existed for decades, it is only recently that individuals have felt empowered to voice this preference openly. This newfound transparency is often met with significant social friction, particularly in cultures where procreation is deeply intertwined with religious duty and social identity. According to Tristinarum, also known as Lia, individuals contemplating this path must navigate a complex landscape of personal values and societal expectations, suggesting a framework of two primary considerations: the alignment with religious tenets and the method of communicating one’s choice to the broader community.
The Catalyst of Contemporary Debate
The current intensity of the childfree discussion in Indonesia can be traced back to early 2023, when Gita Savitri responded to a comment on her Instagram profile. When a follower complimented her youthful appearance, the influencer attributed her look to not having children, describing it as a "natural anti-aging" remedy. She argued that the absence of the stress associated with parenting, combined with the ability to maintain a consistent sleep schedule and afford high-end skincare, contributed to her vitality.
This statement immediately went viral across platforms like Twitter (now X) and TikTok, drawing both support and fierce criticism. Supporters argued for the right to bodily autonomy and the importance of financial and mental readiness before bringing a child into the world. Conversely, critics viewed the remarks as dismissive of the sacrifices made by parents and a rejection of traditional Indonesian family values. The controversy highlighted a growing generational divide and brought the "childfree" terminology into the mainstream Indonesian lexicon, necessitating a deeper analysis by psychological and social experts.
Psychological Frameworks and the Two Pillars of Decision-Making
In addressing the phenomenon, Nuzulia Rahma Tristinarum provides a professional perspective aimed at those currently weighing the decision. She posits that because Indonesia is a deeply religious and communal society, a decision as life-altering as being childfree cannot be made in a vacuum. She outlines two essential pillars for those navigating this choice.
First, Tristinarum advises an intensive internal analysis based on one’s religious beliefs. In the Indonesian context, where the majority of the population adheres to Islam, and significant portions to Christianity, Catholicism, Hinduism, and Buddhism, the concept of family is often viewed through a spiritual lens. "Try to look deeper because any decision taken by a religious person is tied to the rules of God," Tristinarum noted. For many, the preservation of progeny (hifz al-nasl) is considered one of the primary objectives of Sharia or religious law. Therefore, she suggests that individuals must reconcile their personal desires with their spiritual obligations to ensure long-term psychological peace.
Second, the psychologist emphasizes the importance of social intelligence and communication. She argues that even if an individual holds a firm "value" or conviction regarding a childfree life, there is no inherent need to present that choice in a confrontational or demeaning manner. The friction caused by the Gitasav incident, Lia suggests, stemmed less from the choice itself and more from the perceived insult toward those who chose parenthood. "It is better to convey the decision in a good way without insulting, including, or feeling better than people who choose to have children," she stated. This approach is vital for maintaining social cohesion and individual mental well-being within a collective culture.
Global Trends and Demographic Realities
The childfree phenomenon in Indonesia does not exist in isolation; it reflects a broader global trend. Data from the Pew Research Center indicates a rising number of adults in developed and developing nations who say they are unlikely to ever have children. In a 2021 survey, approximately 44% of non-parents aged 18 to 49 in the United States said it was not too likely or not likely at all that they would have children someday, an increase from 37% in 2018.
In Indonesia, while the total fertility rate (TFR) remains higher than in many Western or East Asian nations, it has seen a steady decline. Data from the Indonesian Central Bureau of Statistics (BPS) shows that the TFR has dropped significantly over the last few decades, from 5.6 children per woman in the 1970s to approximately 2.1 in 2023. While much of this decline is attributed to successful family planning programs (Keluarga Berencana) and increased access to education for women, the voluntary choice to remain childfree is becoming an increasingly visible factor in urban centers.
Economists point to the "Sandwich Generation" phenomenon as a secondary driver for the childfree movement in Indonesia. Many young adults find themselves financially responsible for both their aging parents and their own siblings. The prospect of adding the financial and emotional weight of a child to this burden leads some to opt out of parenthood entirely to ensure their own financial stability and the well-being of their existing family members.
Religious and Cultural Responses
The Indonesian Council of Ulema (MUI) and other religious organizations have been vocal in the wake of the childfree discourse. Various scholars have noted that while there is no explicit verse in the Quran that mandates every married couple must have children, the prophetic tradition strongly encourages it. From a theological standpoint, children are often described as "amanah" (a trust from God) and a source of continuous blessing (jariya).
However, some progressive religious thinkers argue for a more nuanced view, suggesting that if a couple feels they are mentally, physically, or financially incapable of providing a dignified life for a child, abstaining from parenthood might be a more responsible choice than bringing a child into a life of neglect. This internal theological debate mirrors the broader social struggle to balance tradition with the realities of modern life.
The Impact on Social Structure and Mental Health
From a psychological standpoint, the decision to be childfree can have varied impacts. Lia Tristinarum notes that the impact—whether positive or negative—is highly subjective. For some, being childfree provides the "positive" impact of career flexibility, financial freedom, and reduced domestic stress. For others, it may lead to a "negative" sense of isolation or regret in later years, especially in a society where the family unit is the primary support system for the elderly.
The broader implication for Indonesia lies in its "Demographic Bonus," a period where the working-age population outnumbers the non-working-age population. If a significant portion of the youth chooses to be childfree, the country may eventually face the challenges currently seen in Japan, South Korea, and Singapore: an aging population with a shrinking workforce to support social services. This macroeconomic concern often clashes with the individualistic "rights-based" arguments presented by proponents of the childfree lifestyle.
Navigating the Future of Family Discourse
The professional consensus among counselors like Tristinarum is that the childfree debate is a symptom of a society in transition. As women gain more agency over their bodies and career paths, and as economic pressures reshape the traditional household, the definitions of "family" and "fulfillment" are inevitably evolving.
The key to navigating this transition, as suggested by experts, lies in mutual respect. The stigmatization of childfree individuals can lead to social alienation and mental health struggles, just as the disparagement of parenthood can undermine the vital role that caregivers play in society. Tristinarum’s advice serves as a call for a more empathetic dialogue. By grounding personal decisions in deep reflection—whether religious or ethical—and communicating those decisions with humility rather than superiority, individuals can exercise their personal agency without fracturing the social fabric.
As Indonesia continues to modernize, the "childfree" conversation is unlikely to disappear. Instead, it will likely become a permanent fixture of the social landscape, requiring a continuous re-evaluation of what it means to lead a meaningful life in the 21st century. Whether viewed through the lens of psychology, religion, or economics, the choice remains a profound intersection of personal liberty and collective responsibility.
