Hadi Wijaya
The discourse surrounding the "childfree" lifestyle—a conscious decision by individuals or couples to remain childless—has surged to the forefront of Indonesian public debate following controversial remarks by high-profile social media influencers. Ustazah Tria Meriza, the founder of @sekolahmuslimah.bahagia, has emerged as a prominent voice in this discussion, articulating a firm stance grounded in Islamic jurisprudence and theology. According to Ustazah Tria, the adoption of a childfree ideology is considered "haram" (forbidden) for Muslim couples based on four primary arguments that touch upon secularism, economic anxiety, scriptural mandates, and the prophetic tradition. This debate is not merely a theological disagreement but reflects a broader cultural tension between traditional Indonesian values and emerging global trends toward individualism and secular lifestyles.
The resurgence of this topic was catalyzed by comments from Gita Savitri, a prominent YouTuber and influencer known as Gitasav, who suggested that not having children served as a "natural anti-aging" method. The remark sparked a firestorm of criticism and support across Indonesian social media platforms, prompting religious leaders and scholars to weigh in on the compatibility of such views with the nation’s predominantly Muslim identity. Ustazah Tria Meriza, through her digital platforms, emphasized that the childfree concept is fundamentally at odds with the tenets of Islam. She argues that the movement is rooted in Western secularism, a worldview that prioritizes personal utility and immediate gratification over religious obligations and the sanctity of family life.
The Theological Foundation of the Opposition
Ustazah Tria Meriza’s critique of the childfree lifestyle is structured around four definitive points. The first point addresses the ideological origins of the movement. She posits that the childfree concept was birthed within the framework of Western secularism, which seeks to decouple religious ethics from personal and family life. In this view, decisions are made based on "manfaat" or utilitarian benefit rather than the divine categories of "halal" (permitted) and "haram." By viewing children as a potential burden or an obstacle to personal freedom, proponents of the childfree lifestyle are seen as adopting a worldview that centers the self rather than the Creator.
The second point of contention involves the economic rationale often cited by those choosing to remain childless. Many proponents argue that the rising cost of living and the desire for financial stability make child-rearing an impractical or risky endeavor. Ustazah Tria contends that this fear directly contradicts the Islamic creed (aqidah). Within Islamic belief, Allah is regarded as Ar-Razzaq (The Provider), and the Quran provides explicit assurances that every living creature is guaranteed its sustenance. Fear of poverty as a reason for avoiding children is viewed as a lack of faith in divine providence.
Thirdly, the childfree ideology is seen as a direct violation of the primary objectives of marriage (Maqasid al-Sharia). Ustazah Tria cites Surah an-Nahl, Verse 72, which states: "And Allah has made for you from yourselves mates and has made for you from your mates sons and grandchildren and has provided for you from the good things. Is it then in falsehood that they believe and in the favor of Allah they disbelieve?" This verse is frequently used by scholars to illustrate that procreation is a central blessing and a fundamental purpose of the marital bond. Choosing to permanently exclude the possibility of offspring is thus interpreted as a rejection of a divinely ordained gift.
The final argument presented by Ustazah Tria is rooted in the Sunnah, or the traditions of Prophet Muhammad. The Prophet explicitly encouraged his followers to marry those who are "loving and fertile," expressing a desire for the Muslim community (Ummah) to be numerous. A well-documented Sahih Hadith (narrated by Abu Daud, an-Nasa’i, and Ahmad) records the Prophet saying, "Marry the one who is loving and fertile, for I will be proud of your great numbers before the other nations on the Day of Resurrection." This tradition places a high value on the expansion of the community, viewing large families as a source of strength and pride for the faith.
The Chronology of the Childfree Debate in Indonesia
While the childfree movement has existed in Western societies since the late 20th century, its visibility in Indonesia has followed a distinct timeline. In the late 1990s and early 2000s, the concept was largely discussed within academic or ultra-progressive circles. However, the rise of social media has democratized these ideas, allowing them to reach a much wider audience.
The current wave of controversy began in earnest around 2021 when Gita Savitri first publicly shared her decision to remain childfree. At that time, the discussion focused on personal choice and the pressures of motherhood. The debate reached a fever pitch in February 2023 when Savitri’s "anti-aging" comment went viral. This shifted the conversation from a private lifestyle choice to a public provocation, leading to responses from celebrities, politicians, and religious authorities.
In response to the viral discourse, various institutions have offered their perspectives. The Indonesian Ulema Council (MUI) has previously noted that while family planning (Tanzim al-Nasl) for the purpose of spacing births is permissible and even encouraged for the health of the mother and child, the absolute rejection of children (Tahdid al-Nasl) without a pressing medical reason is contrary to Islamic principles. This distinction is crucial in the Indonesian context, where the government has historically promoted the "Dua Anak Cukup" (Two Children is Enough) program to manage population growth. However, that program aimed at management, not the total cessation of procreation.
Global Trends and Demographic Data
The childfree phenomenon is not unique to Indonesia; it is part of a global shift in demographic patterns. According to data from the United Nations and various national statistics agencies, fertility rates are declining across the globe, including in many Muslim-majority countries. In the United States, data from the Pew Research Center indicates that a growing number of adults—roughly 44% of non-parents ages 18 to 49—say it is not too likely or not at all likely that they will ever have children.
In Indonesia, the Total Fertility Rate (TFR) has seen a steady decline over the decades. In the 1970s, the TFR was over 5.0; by 2022, it had dropped to approximately 2.1, which is considered the "replacement level." While this decline is largely attributed to better access to education, contraception, and the success of family planning programs, the emergence of the childfree movement represents a new variable. Sociologists argue that if a significant portion of the urban, educated middle class adopts a childfree lifestyle, it could accelerate the aging of the population, leading to future economic challenges similar to those faced by Japan or South Korea.
Sociological and Economic Drivers
Beyond religious and ideological reasons, the childfree choice is often driven by tangible sociological factors. In modern urban environments like Jakarta, the "sandwich generation" phenomenon—where adults are responsible for both their aging parents and their own children—creates immense psychological and financial pressure. For some, the decision to be childfree is a defensive maneuver against burnout and financial instability.
Furthermore, the "fear of failing to educate children," as mentioned by Ustazah Tria, is a real concern in a rapidly changing world. The complexities of digital-era parenting, coupled with concerns about climate change and global instability, have led some couples to conclude that bringing a child into the world is an act of irresponsibility rather than a blessing. This "eco-anxiety" or "ethical childlessness" is a common theme in the global childfree discourse, though it remains secondary to religious and financial arguments in the Indonesian context.
Analysis of Implications for Indonesian Society
The hardening of stances on both sides of the childfree debate suggests a growing ideological divide in Indonesia. On one hand, there is a movement toward individual autonomy and the adoption of globalized lifestyle norms. On the other, there is a strong reassertion of traditional and religious values that view the family unit as the bedrock of society.
From a policy perspective, the Indonesian government remains focused on the "Demographic Bonus"—a period where the working-age population outnumbers the dependents. If the childfree lifestyle gains significant traction, this bonus could be shortened, leading to a "Demographic Burden" where a shrinking workforce must support a burgeoning elderly population. This economic reality often aligns with the religious arguments for procreation, as both the state and religious institutions have a vested interest in maintaining a robust and youthful population.
Ustazah Tria Meriza’s conclusion—that "having many children is fun"—is a direct attempt to reframe the narrative from one of burden to one of joy and spiritual fulfillment. By highlighting the psychological benefits and the religious rewards of parenting, she seeks to counter the "aesthetic" and "lifestyle" arguments presented by influencers. Her stance serves as a reminder that in Indonesia, personal choices are often viewed through the lens of communal and divine responsibility.
As the debate continues, it is likely that the conversation will move toward a more nuanced understanding of family life. While religious leaders like Ustazah Tria maintain the "haram" status of the childfree ideology, the underlying issues—such as the need for better support systems for mothers, financial security, and mental health resources—will remain critical areas for public policy and community support. The resolution of this cultural tension will ultimately shape the demographic and social landscape of Indonesia for generations to come.
